two.hundred.ninety.eight.

this year has been a year of loss for me.

and today, for some reason, i've really felt it.

maybe it's because i can't get enough of the new stephan moccio cd. you know how it is, instrument music makes you contemplate things that you usually don't think about. i think that's because you don't have lyrics to distract you. which makes the music easier to feel.

who knows. but whatever it is i can't seem to shake this feeling of everything that i've had disappear this year. and it's a bit of a haunting feeling.

so tonight i'm just going to crawl into bed and hope that yoga fixes everything in the morning.

i'm going to wake up and challenge myself to not think about the things that have gone or have changed, but instead i'm going to think about the things that are to come.

the good things.

like kalya's wedding.

like andrea getting pregnant.

and like me finishing another thirty day challenge.

those are the things i'll think about tomorrow. especially if it's raining.

and for the next two hundred and ninety eight days i'll try to do the same.

because, you see, a friend today asked me what my ten year goal was.

and i answered quickly.

my answer was "i want to be happy."

i know. it sounds cheesy. and something only a hippie would say.

but it's the truth.

so i'm going to start tomorrow.

with thoughts of weddings and babies and yoga.

those seem like good places to start. right?

yeah, i thought so.