tiffanylikes.com

two.hundred.ninety.six.

2010-11-07T22:40:00.002-05:00

tomorrow night i'm seeing cary brothers.

live.

that's all i can think about right now.

so i want all of you go to go and listen to him.

just out of admiration of my complete and total obsession.

and keep your fingers crossed for me.

i could handle another apple cider vinegar moment.

yes, i really could.

so fingers crossed, people. fingers crossed.

two.hundred.ninety.seven.

2010-11-07T00:15:00.002-04:00

i'm back on the band wagon.

or the blogging horse.

whichever you'd prefer.

not that i have anything super exciting to talk about these days, but it does feel good to be back in the kind of schedule that has time for me to send out something into this void that people call the interweb.

or wait, is it just me who calls it that?!

either way, i've become very fond of this little place that lets me write until i feel better.

so thank you all for being a part of it.

today was a big day by toronto standards.

but i, like penny, can't wait to just close my eyes and sleep away the extra hour i'll get because of the fall back time change.

so until tomorrow friends.

go listen to some cary brothers. it will make you feel better than you have all day.

this i promise.

two.hundred.ninety.eight.

2010-11-05T10:35:00.004-04:00

this year has been a year of loss for me.

and today, for some reason, i've really felt it.

maybe it's because i can't get enough of the new stephan moccio cd. you know how it is, instrument music makes you contemplate things that you usually don't think about. i think that's because you don't have lyrics to distract you. which makes the music easier to feel.

who knows. but whatever it is i can't seem to shake this feeling of everything that i've had disappear this year. and it's a bit of a haunting feeling.

so tonight i'm just going to crawl into bed and hope that yoga fixes everything in the morning.

i'm going to wake up and challenge myself to not think about the things that have gone or have changed, but instead i'm going to think about the things that are to come.

the good things.

like kalya's wedding.

like andrea getting pregnant.

and like me finishing another thirty day challenge.

those are the things i'll think about tomorrow. especially if it's raining.

and for the next two hundred and ninety eight days i'll try to do the same.

because, you see, a friend today asked me what my ten year goal was.

and i answered quickly.

my answer was "i want to be happy."

i know. it sounds cheesy. and something only a hippie would say.

but it's the truth.

so i'm going to start tomorrow.

with thoughts of weddings and babies and yoga.

those seem like good places to start. right?

yeah, i thought so.

three.hundred.and.three.

2010-10-31T22:10:00.002-04:00

today was the perfect sunday.

which is impressive as it was also hallowe'en and i'm sure most of you know how i feel about this holiday.

if you could even call it that.

but, despite the actual date, it was a perfect sunday.

a morning walk at high park with penny (which she would like me to add was perfect except for the mound of burrs she got stuck to her face and paws and the crazy huge mastiff who basically ran her over).

an afternoon of baking (i'm old, i know).

a visit from a really handsome friend.

and dinner + the amazing race with kell.

(completely random sidebar - i want claire and brooke to win. they are SO amazingly positive. it's a refreshing change for the amazing race. however, if i had to pick a second option, i'd pick kevin and his dad. mostly because when kevin when in love with an old russian woman tonight i couldn't stop smiling!)

when i think about it, how often do we get to have amazing days like these?

you know, ones that aren't planned out minute by minute.

i can't think of the last time that i just played everything by ear.

besides today.

and it felt amazing.

it also made me realize how important balance is, and not only because i read this amazing article in the globe and mail.

so i think tomorrow, being monday and the start of a new month, we should all try to insert some balance into our lives.

maybe it's by doing my exercise (i'm starting a 30 day hot yoga challenge!).

maybe it's by not filling every single evening with dinners and drinks and movies.

or maybe it's taking at least an hour a day to do one thing that you want to do, even if no one else wants to do it with you.

i think we can do it if we start slowly.

you know, bit by bit.

yes, i have complete and total faith in us.

(i hope you do, too!)

three.hundred.and.four.

2010-10-31T01:56:00.002-04:00

60 days after catching the bouquet, i am going to bed happy.

this is the best hallowe'en night i've ever had.

i think it's because i shared it with harper blynn and greg laswell.

take some time today to do the same.

trust me, you'll be saying the same thing about your actual hallowe'en day when you're done.

let's all be happy on old hallows eve (right sarab?).

also, if you're looking for a laugh, follow this on twitter:

sarabisms.

enjoy!

three.hundred.and.five.

2010-10-28T23:38:00.002-04:00

i am stuck in one of those blogging ruts.

you know the kind.

the kind when you can't think of anything you think that a reader would find even slightly interesting.

i had a teacher at humber who would tell us to get up and walk it off.

funny, as that doesn't really work in the real world.

and right now, the last thing i want to do is get up and walk around as the duvet that's got me all tucked in is far too comfortable.

with that in mind, i think i'm just going to stop fighting the need to find something great to talk about and realize that there are times when really, we have nothing to say.

when the best thing for us to do is celebrate being quiet. and enjoying the comfort that can come with that.

but before i send you off to practice that on your own, i want to tell you about the best thing that happened today.

i stumbled upon this. my most favourite yogourt.

i can't wait to have some for breakfast tomorrow.

you see, sometimes that is all you need.

an amazing reason to get up. and some time to appreciate being still.

i'm happy to say that i have both.

three.hundred.and.six.

2010-10-27T22:05:00.002-04:00

it's finally ten pm.

and i'm finally in bed.

there is something crazy about days when you're awake for almost twenty four hours.

i'm actually not sure how your brain convinces your body to stay awake for as long as you need to. maybe it's the complete rush you get from challenging yourself to think and move and operate on far less sleep that you're used to.

or maybe it's just insanity. i mean we all have a little of that rushing through our bones, right?

yes, yes we do.

tonight my heart feels achey.

i'm not really sure why, it just does.

all i know is that i'm the happiest girl to be crawling into bed with the most adorable dog in the world right now.

that today couldn't end in a better way. at.all.

before i sleep though, i want to ask all of you to help this amazing cause that i've just learned about. it's a youth shelter here in toronto called eva's phoenix. the things they do there are amazing. i spent the morning learning about this place, which is really only a three minute walk from my house, and i was blown away.

it makes me happy to know that there are people that care enough about others to dedicate 24 hours a day to a cause.

it makes me even happier to know that there are people in Canada who are taking a stand against youth homelessness as i can't imagine being eighteen and not having a place to go home to.

can you?

i didn't think so.

(i bet you didn't even try to think about it. it's scary, right?)

so, to all of you loyal readers (i actually think you're slowly growing in number - yip yip!) please help me help eva's. right now they are in a race to be qualified for grant that would allow them to do amazing things at the shelter. amazing "let's go green" things. you know, the kind of things that would make the world a better place for us all.

all they need to be qualified is to be in the top ten per cent of ideas.

the way that will happen is if people vote for them. so please, please, go here to vote.

it takes a second to register but it's totally worth it!

and, while you're all online and interested, please sign this petition created by virgin's Re*Generation movement to push the canadian government toward naming november 17th national youth homelessness awareness day. it also only takes a second but can do SO much.

65,000 kids are homeless in canada.

i don't know about you, but i'd give up my sofa bed to one of them any night.

but seeing as i can't, i have voted and signed the petition.

join me in doing the same.

three.hundred.and.eight.

2010-10-25T23:32:00.003-04:00

the best thing i heard today was during yoga.

the teacher, who is hands down one of my favourites, told us all to detach. to remove ourselves from everything but our breathing.

when you think about it detaching is an amazing thing.

not for a long time, and not from things that are important, but i think that learning how to detach is good.

so tonight i took an hour to detach.

to worry only about getting from one pose to the next. and breathing.

it was quite possibly, the best thing ever.

i think it's also something that i will take with me to tomorrow.

reminding myself that it's easier than i think to remove myself from situations that feel far more big and stressful than they actually are.

you should all do that too. remember that everything works out.

that things are ok.

as long as you can breath.

cheesy, i know, but it's true.

so turn on some cat stevens (i just bought the greatest hits compilation and can't stop listening) and celebrate the fact that you can detach. especially if you're in toronto and living in the insanity that is rob ford for mayor.

detach. detach away.

just don't tell anyone i told you to do it ;)

three.hundred.and.ten.

2010-10-24T22:55:00.002-04:00

it has been fifty five days since i caught the bouquet.

truth be told, i feel further away from finding the love of my life than i did those long fifty five days ago.

funny how that works.

it's ok though, because i feel as though these fifty five days have been an adventure. you know, one of those things you have to go through or complete before you can move on to better things.

like blind dates.

and making chocolate cupcakes.

so here's to this week being a good one.

and if not a good one, at least an old skool one, the kind when i'd know what to expect.

and i'd know how to handle whatever it was that came my way.

yes, here's to a week like that.

three.hundred.and.eleven.

2010-10-22T23:34:00.002-04:00

i'm falling asleep with blood dripping down my neck.

yup, apparently the mole removal has its own set of complications.

my fingers are crossed for no scar though. although it might not be too bad to have a scar on my neck that looks like i've had my soul sucked out by a vampire. maybe that will get me a walk on role for the next twilight movie.

all i can say is watch out, bella!

here's to all of you who checked in on my today - thanks for the concern.

also to those of you who have been reading all week, thanks for not running away from what has been, quite honestly, probably one of my most personal when it comes to confessions.

i'm going to sleep now in hopes that not moving will finally make the blood clot properly.

mostly so i can get this massive piece of gauze off my neck before i have to go out in public again.

for now i'm a recluse in mississauga.

and i love it.

even with the minor minor surgery complications.

three.hundred.and.twelve.

2010-10-22T00:05:00.002-04:00

i wanted to stay in snail forever tonight.

maybe even for the whole day tomorrow.

you know, all curled in on myself so that no one could get it.

get in to get me to let down my guard.

or get in to hurt me.

yeah, i wanted to stay there forever.

sadly, the class was only 60 minutes.

and then i had to step back into the real world.

the real world that today kicked me in the ass.

the real world that made me realize how much influence we all have on each other, even if we don't know it.

and the real world that makes nothing perfect and everything a reminder that growing is never over. that things change.

and that sometimes change really f-ing blows.

to deal with the real world when it feels like this, i strongly suggest listening to peter katz.

the man has gotten me through today, that's for sure.

especially the song "son" from his new record. but if you don't have that, listen to "i do" from his myspace page.

he wrote the song for his sister. as a wedding present.

it's a story of her relationship with her husband, before they were married.

it restores some of my faith in the world.

you know, the kind that screams love does win, sometimes.

(and thank goodness for that. yes, thank the frickin' lord!)

three.hundred.and.thirteen.

2010-10-21T00:10:00.002-04:00

remember what it was like to turn thirteen?

it was the year that i got two bunny rabbits for my birthday.

my friends all came over and we watched dirty dancing, even though my mom thought it might be a bit too "racy" for people our age.

and we went swimming at midnight, doing our best to avoid the jelly fish that would have made us pee on each other.

maybe that's why my birthdays were always one that people wanted to come to.

too bad my birthday party popularity generally didn't translate for the rest of the year!

i do wish though, that tomorrow when i woke up it would be the day after my 13th birthday party.

that the biggest concern would be if there was any spice cake left.

or if there were enough gift bags for all my friends, plus their siblings that would come to pick them up.

and, of course, if my mom had enough elastics to put fish tails in all of my friends' hair before they left.

oh, the joys of the early teenage years.

i think i'm going to revel in them a bit more.

i was going to go into a whole tangent of what i'll be doing tomorrow instead of all those things, but have decided against it.

i mean when is the last time that you thought about your 13th birthday party?

or if that's too long ago (ha, sorry to those of you who that applied to! ;), try to remember your 16th or 21st.

each of these monumental occasions bring back amazing memories for me.

ones that include bailing hay (yes, i'm from bathurst, let the joke making begin ...) and getting a tractor stuck.

and ones that include a surprise party and getting cut off by a bartender.

honestly, let's think of things we never take time to remember today.

i'm sure you all have a memory or two that you know you love but just never think of.

tell me what they are.

or keep them to yourselves.

but whatever you do, think of a few today.

they'll make you happy, i promise.

and they'll remind you of how far you've come. and how strong you can be.

and how amazingly lucky you've been to have great families and friends and life experiences.

here's to the memory of playing kickball at recess. and putting the game on pause until the next day.

or more importantly, here's to a time when you could remember exactly where you were standing 24 hours ago!

three.hundred.and.fourteen.

2010-10-19T23:43:00.002-04:00

today a coworker proved to me that hiding the real you from the people you work with isn't necessary.

she told us about her trip to greece. and not just about the sites she saw and the things she did, but also about the boy she met and the things they did.

without hesitation. and many times.

i was so proud of her.

it was refreshing to see that there are people who aren't afraid to be themselves. and it was a good reminder that people can love you for who you are, even in a setting that makes it difficult to do so.

so to michelle dias, thank you for being my inspiration today.

for reminding me to be myself.

and that, in doing this very thing, everything feels right.

i mean it does, doesn't it?

i suppose i should be asking a certain boy named jason for that answer ...

and to the rest of you, try today to be the person you know you are.

or the one that you always want to be but never pull out for fear of finding out that people don't accept you.

today let's all be us.

it'll be fun, i promise.

three.hundred.and.fifteen.

2010-10-19T00:02:00.002-04:00

maybe tonight penny won't take up over half of my queen sized bed.

you'd think she thought she was a great dane or something.

a quick thanks to all of you who sent luck my way today -- it was greatly appreciated. the monday love was definitely felt and i can't tell you how much i appreciated it.

thank you. thank you. thank you.

this was a monday that makes you think "damn, it's only monday?!"

you know, one of those days when you feel like you've lived a week when really it's only been a mere 24 hours.

that also makes it the best monday for crawling into bed.

and celebrating that the day is over.

so on days like today, whether they be a monday or a thursday for you, remember that you always have your bed to crawl into at the end of it. and hopefully your bed has a fluffy white pooch that loves to cuddle as much as you do.

if it doesn't, you can borrow mine anytime.

here's to a better tuesday.

you know, one that doesn't have me counting down the seconds 'til bedtime.

three.hundred.and.sixteen.

2010-10-17T22:20:00.002-04:00

it feels like night five hundred and twelve that i'm going to bed with a stuffy nose.

honestly, how long does this plague last? the one that everyone seems to have.

all i know is that it is lasting too long in my body.

and i'd like for someone to let me know how i can get it out.

as the weekend quickly comes to a close i thought it important to let you all know that somehow i have managed to fall even further behind for my goal of getting married in a year. i honestly think the bouquet is a curse, more than anything.

why you ask?

well, i'm not sure if reason alone could get us out of this situation.

or, even better, if reason could explain it.

all i know is that a certain chad nuttall might be right when he says there should be a dance off.

of epic proportions.

i wish, like so many girls out there, that i could wake up tomorrow and have someone tell me they love me.

and mean it.

and not say they love me because they've read this blog.

or because they want me to draw on their back.

or because they know how great of a cook i am (and that i'm not too shabby at cleaning up the kitchen, either ;).

no, i want to wake up and hear someone say they love me because they know how crazy i am about yoga. and because they know how much i love my dog. and because they know, that i tend to over exaggerate everything. that i'm dramatic. and that even with all those quirks, i'm one of the best people they've ever loved.

yeah, that's what i wish could happen tomorrow.

but until that tomorrow actually happens, i'll remember how awesome it feels to be able to wake up and go to yoga. and how good it feels to have a really clean kitchen.

and i'll remember how good it feels to be able to call some of your closest friends when you're far more intoxicated than one person ever should be and not have to worry about what you said.

yes. those are the things i'll try to remember in seven hours when my alarm goes off.

wish me luck.

actually, mondays always need luck. so maybe send me just a little bit more than usual.

do it because you love me. ;)

three.hundred.eighteen.

2010-10-16T00:23:00.002-04:00

something's got to be done about my dedication to blogging every night.

i was so good for a while. pushing forward.

instead all i can think about at night is crawling into bed and sleeping.

and cuddling with penny.

yes, curling up with her is probably one of my most favourite parts of the day.

i might even like it better than yoga.

tonight though, i'm feeling inspired. you see, i listened to the same song all day today. yup, the whole day.

and i think you should love it like i do.

save it for a theme song.

or just listen to it when you're walking down the street.

or use it as a reminder that you can end up somewhere you never expected.

and that there are some people who won't help you get there.

but that you don't need them to make it.

instead, you just need to remember that they may have a roller skate diner in their future. ;)

so go. listen. enjoy.

it'll put a bounce in your step, for sure.

it had me dancing from the waist up at the office.

and that's a feat!

happy weekend everyone.

get out there and love someone.

three.hundred.and.nineteen.

2010-10-13T23:45:00.002-04:00

today was one of those days that makes you want to change everything.

change what time you practice yoga.

change what you have for lunch (especially when you the exact same thing almost every single day).

and change how you manage all parts of your life, from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to sleep.

so tonight, to celebrate my want for change, i went to yoga at 8pm instead of 9:45pm. i walked penny in the rain instead of only taking her out to pee. and right now, as i type this, i'm cuddled up with two pups, not one.

yeah, this should satisfy my appetite for change for now.

one other thing before i go -- i actually can't believe how fast a year goes by. i mean it's already been almost two months since i started this whole counting down business.

crazy thing is so much has changed since that fateful day in august. my hair colour, my tanned status, my wardrobe. it's insane to think that only two months ago we were in the dead heat of summer when, only five minutes ago, i put my winter duvet on my bed.

so let's welcome this new part of my year long countdown. and be happy that things, like the seasons, do change.

who would have ever thought those words would be coming out of my mouth, right?

the girl who hates change.

celebrating it.

what can i say?

i guess we all have to start growing up sometime.

[notice i said START. i'm not ready to be a full on grown up just yet!]

three.hundred.twenty.

2010-10-12T23:48:00.003-04:00

so i've been mia.

truth be told, i've only been mia in the world of the online.

my real life has actually been super busy and its seen some of my biggest life goals come true. so i'm hoping you can all forgive me.

i'd spend hours telling you how everything went - andrea and alex's wedding, the jason mraz road trip tour and the interview of all interviews (yes, it's true, i interviewed jason mraz -- can you believe it?!) but my computer, as always, is running on reserve battery power.

instead, i will tell you all that my life feels like its about to go through some kind of mega change.

that watching two people i love tell each other in front of everyone they love that they are going to be together for [at least] 30 years has made me think that being single isn't really the best way to spend your whole entire life (although i will admit, it still works really well for me ;).

i will also tell you that knowing i brought together two people who have been able to make each other super happy makes me think that i should be able to do the same for myself.

and that, having friends who know how to deal with you when you're so stressed that all you do is shut down, makes everything feel like it's going to be ok. that no matter what happens, everything, yup everything, will work out.

as eeeeems 1 and i would say, sally brampton, bring it on.

to all of you who have sent me notes, asking when i'd be back on the blogging train -- your wait is over. thank you for being patient.

to those of you who are just finding me, welcome.

and to those of you who didn't miss me at all, i'll win you over yet.

here's to figuring things out as they come.

and to being happy for those people in your life who you love the most.

because they deserve it. and because it makes you happy, too.

three.hundred.thirty.four.

2010-09-29T22:37:00.002-04:00

in three days andrea and alex will be married.

i can't tell you how excited i am to be celebrating with another close set of friends as they get married.

yes, you'd think that i might be bitter as i've spent much of my adult years single.

or that i'd be jealous as they seem to be so very happy now that they have found each other.

i mean heck, they live in track pants. when was the last time you were so comfortable with someone that you loved them the most when they were in track pants?

exactly. they've found that sweet spot that i hope they stay in forever.

but i am none of those things. instead the girl who is counting down the year that she's supposed to find the man of her dreams is so excited.

i'm excited to see andrea's face when her hair is all done and we're heading off to the ceremony.

i'm excited to hear just how the mother of the bride will break down sobbing when she realizes that her only daughter just got married.

and i'm excited to experience where a night of free pouring drinks lands a whole lot of torontonians in new york for the first time.

so, for now i'm going to put my search on hold and relish in the amazing-ness that is this small but mighty wedding.

who knows, maybe i'll catch another bouquet and get an extension on my deadline.

here's hoping!

three.hundred.thirty.five.

2010-09-28T22:04:00.002-04:00

there is something to be said about toronto in the wee hours of the morning.

for example, when i walk penny before yoga it seems like there is no one else who lives in this big ole city of mine. there are barely any lights on in all of the towering condo buildings that surround my townhouse.

yeah, there's definitely something nice about that kind of quiet. the kind that wakes you up slowly and lets you appreciate that you've still got a whole day to work through. and be grateful for.

i think those early morning walks are there to remind me that every day has something to offer. and that offering is not only yoga. days like today and yesterday and hopefully tomorrow have moments of complete happiness and complete frustration. days like today and yesterday and tomorrow have moments when you think you can't do anything more and then do. and days like today (yesterday AND tomorrow) have moments that you just wish could last for longer than moments last.

and those are the things you can think about when the whole city is still asleep at 6am. ok, maybe not still asleep. but at least still inside enjoying their first cup of coffee.

that said, the next time i'm out for a walk that early (yup, you're right, on thursday) i'll be sure to remind myself of all the good things that i have to look forward to. things like celebrating some of my greatest friends weddings and jason mraz on tour and ash koley's first record (you can listen to the whole thing here!).

here's to misty mornings turning into fantastic days. even when it's pouring rain.

three.hundred.thirty.seven.

2010-09-26T21:11:00.002-04:00

i have twenty two minutes. until my computer, once again, turns off due to reserve battery power operation.

and to think, i decided to blog early tonight so that everything would be done early and in a relaxed, lying on the couch state.

oh well, i guess now we're in a time crunch so here goes nothing.

tonight, with little time i'd simply like to wish one of my most favourite little munchkins, henry, a very happy first birthday.

and i would like to thank him for inviting me to his party. where i got my first loot bag in years. and where i got to remember how fun it is to sit on the floor and play in a sea of toys.

there are many reasons i love birthday parties.

today reminded me of so many of them.

three.hundred.thirty.eight.

2010-09-25T23:42:00.002-04:00

cesar millan is coming to toronto.

november first. acc.

we all know where i'll be.

there's something about him that makes me swoon. it's most likely his complete dedication to the best possible care for dogs. or maybe it's the way that sometimes he says things that are completely and totally grammatically incorrect.

whatever it is, i need to be in the front row that night. maybe penny's past tv experience will earn her a spot on the stage that night. here's to campaigning.

three.hundred.forty.

2010-09-23T23:31:00.002-04:00

today was a big day.

one of my most favourite people turned a quarter century.

a colleague celebrated twenty (yup, TWENTY) years on the job.

and my little brother became a dad to his very own fur baby.

yeah, it was a pretty big day.

it is days like these that remind you that life keeps going even when you're on a break. that big things can happen every day, even when only little things are happening in yours.

days like these also remind you that there are a lot of things to be happy about. and that, every day, there is something to celebrate, even when it really doesn't feel like it.

so here's to days like today.

may tomorrow be one just like it.

three.hundred.forty.one.

2010-09-22T23:14:00.003-04:00

it's hot again.

i think someone was onto something when they said we're honestly going to be f'd when it comes to the climate. i mean it's been freezing here. now it's warm again. so warm that i'm thinking of turning on my ac again.

in september.

good news is that we are close to picking a date for my randomly planned wedding. also, we're two weeks away from andrea's and one month and a few days away from kayla's. honestly, it's that time of my life. you know, when all of a sudden all your friends are getting married. the time when you realize you're actually starting to grow up.

that's one thing that these first few months of thirty have taught me. that being thirty makes you want to grow up. to figure out what you're going to do with your life. to plan. or to break away from a plan you thought was what you wanted.

thirty is confusing. kind of like sixteen is without getting your period for the first time.

but thankfully thirty is far more acne free.

fingers crossed that thirty and a half is a bit better. or even thirty and a quarter.

for those of you out there, who know, please let a girl in on the secret.

yes, please.

until then, i need suggestions on what to bring to a one year old birthday party as i'm guessing champagne is not appropriate.

three.hundred.forty.three.

2010-09-20T22:44:00.003-04:00

i wish people loved reading my blog like i love joe fresh.

for those of you who know me, that's a big deal. and a whole lotta love.

i guess joe fresh delivers for me though.

so that would mean that i have to deliver for all of you.

and i will openly admit that maybe my whole countdown 'til my fake wedding bit is a little self-centred.

then again, i suppose i'm allowed to be self-centred in my own blog.

aren't i?

either way, i do have to think of a glorious way to to get more people to read this.

until then though, i'll continue loving all of you who cuddle up with me each night before bed.

you should know how much i appreciate you all.

on that note, i also greatly appreciate sleep. especially the sleep before a 7am yoga class.

that's right kids, i'm back on the yoga wagon. thank goodness.

so please, for today, just know that i really love you all.

and that there is someone out there who thinks you're really special.

and that for the next few days we are going to have the most amazing days of fall.

and, if you're all really missing me, come down to the ACC tomorrow around 4pm for your chance to win tickets to the hockey game tomorrow night. we'll be giving them away for free as coca-cola zero continues to make the impossible possible for a whole lotta crazy leaf fans (you're one of those, aren't you?!). we'll be giving them away at the official coca-cola zero fans first game tailgate party and you KNOW you don't want to miss that.

i mean the trews will be there!

on that note i'll see each and every one of you tomorrow.

either at yoga.

or the hockey game.

or when i crawl into bed after a crazy day.

thank you for always being here.

you are the best readers there are on the internet.

[but please, please, tell your friends to read, too ;) ]

three.hundred.forty.four.

2010-09-19T21:28:00.003-04:00

i've had a set back.

you see, apparently catching a bouquet means that you're supposed to get married in a year.

sadly, lydia the psychic told me last night that my palm has weak love lines. she then said that these lines could change. and that this news wasn't necessarily bad.

news alert lydia -- i'm thirty.

weak love lines are BAD NEWS.

needless to say, i've spent the day trying to figure out how the heck i'm going to get really visible love lines. how i'll convince my hand to tell the next palm reader that really, everything will be fine and i won't become a super old woman with one too many dogs. or ten too many.

all that helped was super purging my kitchen.

and eating a lot of peanut m&ms.

so until tomorrow, goodnight.

i'm going to wallow.

here's to remembering that psychics aren't really real.

or at least that they don't always know EVERYTHING.

[fingers crossed]

three.hundred.forty.six.

2010-09-17T23:13:00.002-04:00

it's friday.

praise.the.lord.

my fingers are crossed that tomorrow i won't be woken up with the thought of being late for work. that was last saturday, right? yes. yes. it won't be tomorrow (please keep your fingers crossed for me!)

today was one of those very days that you think "i hope this ends up being a 'things happen for the right reasons' kind of day." with that in mind, i'm going to leave you all to curl up with penny who is already snoring.

i think i just want you all to remember that i have three hundred and forty six days to meet the man i'm going to marry.

luckily, this does not stress me out at all.

i mean, that's a loooooooooooooong time, right?

and just because i haven't had a date yet, that doesn't mean anything, right?

you're right. it means nothing.

here's to waking up tomorrow with a bit more enthusiasm for this project.

until then, happy bachelorette party andrea!!!!!(xo)!!!!

three.hundred.forty.seven.

2010-09-17T00:02:00.002-04:00

confession of the day: i haven't blogged in two whole nights.

that's right, two whole nights in a row.

and for that i'm completely and totally sorry.

i could tell you why i didn't, but then you'd think i was complaining and that's the last thing i want any of you to think as the last two nights have been amazing. you know, two of those nights that make you realize that it IS, in fact, nice to be here. on this planet. breathing this air. and enjoying the company of some really amazing people.

[you should all know, however, that i did spend almost two hours with a certain mr. mraz last night in buffalo. he was more amazing than ever. all i can say is that i can't wait for the first week of october!!!!!]

now, to update you all very quickly ... i am FINALLY returning to yoga next week full time (yipeeeee!!!!) and tonight i may have just met the man who will walk into my already planned wedding next september.

ok, so maybe i didn't REALLY meet him. maybe i just saw him from across the yoga studio. and maybe he still has NO idea who i am.

but at least there has been some progress. some hope. some inspiration.

now i just need to grow a set and talk to him.

and you're going to help me do that. we're going to set a goal. and you're going to hold me to it.

so here goes nothing ...

by day three.hundred.thirty.three. i have to have made contact.

varying yoga schedules might make this difficult. as will not wanting to seem like a stalker.

but i'm willing to try if you're willing to keep me real. ;)

because you know me, i'm all about team efforts!!!

let the countdown begin!

three.hundred.fifty.

2010-09-13T23:36:00.003-04:00

wow. it's been fifteen days since i caught betsy's bouquet.

let's see. what has happened since then?

i've been icing my foot every night before bed.

i've seen two people get engaged and one get married.

i've realized how old i am as i crawl into bed on the fifth night of TIFF before midnight.

but have i found my future husband?

nope, not yet.

but don't worry oh faithful readers. my time will come.

[at least that is what i have been telling myself in the middle of this love fest that is the hill & knowlton toronto office!]

in the meantime, i'm listening to stars. the new (well, kinda new -- i was slow on the listening to this one) is AMAZING. my current favourites are "dead hearts", "the passenger" and "how much more." but, please note that all of the record is SO good. it reminds you, instantly, how long you've been waiting for a new stars record to come out. and it also reminds you of why you wait patiently each time for the next one to come.

so go, buy it. and then go see them. twice. three times even.

i'll be there. for sure.

you see, the last time they played every single song i was DYING to hear.

they are good like that.

and while you're enjoying, remember that there is a lot of time left in a year.

and that even when other people seem to have their lives together, or at least far more together than you do, remember that nothing is perfect. and that your time will come.

here's to yoga tomorrow morning for the first time in fifteen days.

it feels like fifteen years. and i'm counting down the seconds until the reunion.

three.hundred.fifty.one.

2010-09-13T01:21:00.004-04:00

tonight i met scott speedman. and minnie driver.

(and the cast of rookie blue)

ok, maybe i just saw them from a distance. but still. i saw them.

and i ate too much.

but isn't that the beauty of TIFF?

it is.

unfortunately, the beauty of TIFF won't let me blog any longer as four nights of parties in a row is more than this old lady can handle.

plus, they are getting me no where closer to marriage. ;)

here's to tomorrow -- day five of the greatest 10 days in toronto.

i think i'll get to meet a past premier of new brunswick.

and you know, as i know, that's bigger for me than meeting kurt browning.

well, almost.

three.hundred.fifty.two.

2010-09-12T02:27:00.003-04:00

there is nothing better than crawling into bed.

ok, correction. crawling into bed with ice on your foot when it hurts.

yup, nothing beats that. ever.

i need to say this one thing just to get it off my chest -- i HAVE to return to yoga. you wouldn't think that not doing it would make me far less happy with life in general, but it does. so no matter what my foot says i'm going back. well, maybe after TIFF. when it's not a requirement to wear heels (which torture a sprained foot, just for the record).

i also have to say that i hate meeting boys with girlfriends. especially boys who are handsome, and will age well (based on the looks of their father, apparently ;) and boys with beautiful long eyelashes. to think, i could have met that boy who was going to agree to get married next september tonight.

sadly, i did not.

instead i smelled a boy who smelled like bang. for serious.

but at least he really, really made me laugh.

here's to an extreme makeover, ET edition. tomorrow.

and fingers crossed for extremely different hair.

(please)

three.hundred.fifty.three.

2010-09-11T00:55:00.002-04:00

tiff. day two.

i'm going to say it once and once only in this ten day span.

i hate.hate.hate. that i have a swollen, sprained foot for the festival. it is really making life far more difficult than it needs to be.

thankfully, i spent most of tonight watching a movie, daydream nation. it was good. and canadian. and directed by a first time director.

my bets on it for winning people's choice. well, at least i voted for it.

please wish me luck for the next two nights. my foot is already on ice.

and please know that i'll have way more interesting things to talk about tomorrow.

when my eyes are not burning from exhaustion.

yes, i'm old.

chad, i guess you're right.

my age is catching up with me.

oh well, i'm putting all of that aside for the next two nights.

toronto, prepare yourself.

here i (the slightly younger tiff) come!

three.hundred.fifty.four.

2010-09-10T02:15:00.002-04:00

it's the beginning of TIFF.

and apparently, henny penny loves cristin fraser.

that's right. the cdawg has returned to my life. and i couldn't be happier.

my apologies for bad posts for the next week. or five days.

i blame them all on open bars. and exclusive parties. and ET canada make overs.

here's to losing myself for five days.

i'm really looking forward to it.

three.hundred.fifty.five.

2010-09-08T23:09:00.002-04:00

tonight let's start you all out with some updates as i know you've all been counting down the seconds until you could curl up with me before sleep!

situation foot: the update is this - it's not broken. however, the doctor has prescribed two whole weeks of limited yoga and flat, preferably laced up, shoes. during TIFF. i don't think my doctor knows what is good for her. (wish me luck ...)

operation "ready in toronto": my other little sister eileen has left one of her rings here. it's gorgeous and a family heirloom. i'm wearing it so it does't get lost.

how does this get filed under the "i caught the bouquet so am getting married" update section of this blog you may ask? well, truth of the matter is, this ring is exactly what i'd want my wedding ring to look like. because of this, i've gotten kell to take some pictures. at least that way, when the man of my not so distant dreams presents himself, he'll have someone to ask about what kind of ring i'll want.

see, i'm always thinking ahead.

now that you're all updated you should know that today was one of those days that starts off sad for no specific reason. you know the kind. the kind that makes you miss the way things used to be for no reason at all. the kind that has you listening to the same gavin degraw record you listened to on repeat when you walked around and around and around the river that found itself next to your apartment in seoul. just to get over a boy.

yeah, that's the kind of day it was. cured only with a strong dose of ingrid michaelson and said gavin degraw record.

i have to admit that sometimes it just feels good to feel sad. like there is something deeply catharthic about being sad about nothing at all. about letting yourself just feel like everything isn't perfect and that there is nothing you can do at that very minute to fix it except for turning up your iPod.

yeah, there is definitely something to be said about that.

and that something isn't bad.

given, i don't think any of us wish to wake up feeling sad. or lost. or alone.

but when it happens, i think it's something that we can all be thankful for.

because if we didn't ever feel that way, how could we know that candy apples really do make us happy? right?

exactly. that's what i thought.

so today, on day three hundred and fifty five -- the very day that i figured out what i want my wedding ring to look like -- i'm thankful that i spent some of my morning travel time wallowing. writing letters to people who will never read them. and learning that there is something good that comes from that.

here's to a weekend of dressing up and being hung over.

i do love when TIFF is in town.

and not only because it feels like everyone is talking about me all the time! ;)

three.hundred.fifty.six.

2010-09-07T23:50:00.002-04:00

tonight was a night of reunions.

(well, and celebrations. fashion television did turn 25, after all!)

not one of long lost loves. or even high school friends.

but the kind that brings you together with people you miss. the people who get you. you know, the people you love simply because they understand everything that makes you tick.

yes, tonight was a night of reunions.

and i couldn't have been happier.

it was also a night, however, of catching mice. with mice sticks and garden gloves.

who knew that mouse traps were so sophisticated these days?

all i can say is thank gawd for them and for steel wool. apparently the critters can't chew threw the stuff.

well, thank gawd for those things. and for friends who can put on said gloves while still dressed in their tuesday night best, after two glasses of champagne. yes, that is what i'm thankful for tonight.

so, after all that, here's to getting happy. not being happy. but getting there.

sometimes it takes work.

but usually, and hopefully more often than not, it's work that is totally worth it.

three.hundred.fifty.seven.

2010-09-06T23:37:00.002-04:00

it's one of those nights when i have no idea what to talk to all of you about.

and for that i apologize.

i spent the weekend doing grown up things, so sadly i don't even have a drunk story to tell you. instead i could talk about baking and doing laundry and playing board games (which, i suppose, is a highlight as andrea got drunk and that NEVER happens).

so today, eight days after catching the ever so sought after bouquet, i have to say that my life hasn't changed one bit. i'm still part of the city's most recognized super power couple, i still have the world's cutest dog and i still need to clean my kitchen.

here's to something super exciting happening in the next three.hundred.and.fifty.seven. days.

i don't know about you, but i think something really great is going to happen.

i am now thirty, after all.

ps - news on the bouquet catching front. eileen knows a hot boy. a hot boy who likes music. well, she knows said hot boy through mutual friends, but who knows. this could lead to the something exciting we were just talking about! here's hoping!

three.hundred.fifty.eight

2010-09-06T00:12:00.002-04:00

i love sundays when the monday that comes after it is a day off.

i suppose that really means i love saturdays, and sundays that feel like them, but you can take it any way you'd like.

update on the foot: it still hates me. good thing is that i've managed to find myself a tensor bandage so hopefully that will help it get back to normal a bit faster. and i'm going back to yoga tomorrow. take.that.sprain.

toronto feels like fall is here.

the fact that penny is once again sleeping next to me in my bed confirms that this fact is true.

and that to the fact that my AC hasn't been on in days and i think we can safely say that i can finally wear my most favourite fall jacket.

because if there is one thing i love more than jason mraz it's the fall. the temperature if perfect for jeans and a sweater. and hot yoga feels so much better when it's cooler outside. honestly, everything just gets better come september.

of this i am sure.

here's to the rest of this season being as good as the first weekend that brought it here.

three.hundred.fifty.nine.

2010-09-05T01:48:00.002-04:00

first things first, we've reached the three hundred mark people. yup, today my blog has been read three hundred and one times.

thank you for that. exciting how quickly one can grow a cult following in this world of the internet ;)

yes, that's what i like to call you. my cult.

today was one of those days that needed saving.

you know the kind. the kind that starts out amazing but then, somehow, ends in the middle of a pile of shit and you don't know what to do to save it.

i found the perfect answer tonight.

and that answer was the CNE.

correction: not only the CNE but the CNE with friends, one ride on the fireball, a corn dog, tiny tom donuts and a pair of twenty five dollar levis.

honestly, nothing could beat that.

or at least there is no bad day that that couldn't fix.

so here's to picking things up when all you really want to do is stay in, away from the rain.

and here's to ignoring a foot that is screaming at you and instead, hopping on the fireball.

and, most importantly, here's to being part of one of the strongest super-power couples there is in this big ole city.

nothing can beat that.

n.o.t.h.i.n.g.

ps - today got me a bit closer to realizing my "i caught the bouquet" dream - you see, i walked into a bridal shoppe. now before you completely freak out and tell me that "ready in toronto" is not the best option for my love life, please note that i didn't intend to buy anything. the fact that i got the most amazing necklace there should not be held against me. especially seeing as none of you will ever guess which necklace it was that i got from said bridal shoppe.

BUT do know that (1) i know this is the longest ps in the history of post scripts and (2) it's a fantastic necklace that put me ahead of a certain KL in the game of wedding planning. a highlight of the day (beaten out only by the corn dog) that's for sure.

three.hundred.sixty.

2010-09-04T00:27:00.002-04:00

report from the land of the limping: swelling FINALLY going down.

praise.the.lord.

this message will be brief as i've spent much of the night crying (who knew that miley cyrus could actually make someone cry?!) and all my eyes are saying right now is "GIVE US A BREAK. HAVEN'T WE DONE ENOUGH FOR YOU TONIGHT?!"

on that note i would like to wish all of you a very happy long weekend. my plans are quiet yet so fun and i'll be sure to keep you all updated.

for fun though, let's all note that at this time last week i was making out with a co-best man.

here's to three hundred and sixty more days of that ;)

three.hundred.sixty.two.and.one

2010-09-02T23:35:00.003-04:00

so last night i totally bailed on all of you. i apologize.

you can see proof of the reason why on my facebook page, a photo tagged of the lovely andrea godin (soon to be patreau) and i. you see, we went on an adventure to get emma. from the cottage. yes, muskoka. the land of very far away.

needless to say, after being stuck in stop and go traffic on the four hundred south the last thing i wanted to do when i stumbled into my house was turn on this computer. so you had to suffer (well, the two of you who visited today ;) and for that, i apologize.

however, not to worry. i've got two AMAZING things to share with you today so you'll all be quick to forgive. but first let me update you on the year of wedding.

nothing has happened. i'm still as single as ever. and probably will be until my gimp foot heals. let's remember that for updates throughout the weekend. maybe we'll just say i'll update you when the foot is healed and i can actually put a pair of heels on again (hopefully JUST in time for TIFF!)

ok, now for the sharing. the first thing you MUST watch is this wonderful new video from canada's next big thing, ash koley. i've had the inside track on this lovely duo for a while now, and have been waiting patiently for something to share. and now, now i have it. don't wait to be done reading this, go here now (but do come back when you're done!).

two minutes forty five seconds later ...

fun, right? oh come on, admit it, you LOVED it. and you can totally understand how this lovely lady is going to become one of those things we're proud to be canadian about. yes, you KNOW it.

and as if that wasn't enough today i met one of the greatest people i've ever had the pleasure to meet. his name was marcel. i think you should meet him, too as his place is probably the best one you could ever have bookmarked for days when you really don't think you can survive for one more minute of excel spreadsheets or client meetings or doing laundry.

so, without any further adieu, meet marcel.

now i feel completely better about leaving you all last night. because you have the best things to send you off to sleep.

until tomorrow.

please pray that i'm a bit less limp.

three.hundred.sixty.three

2010-08-31T21:37:00.002-04:00

i will openly admit that i'm no where closer to finding the boy i'm going to marry.

i'm actually even further away from such a goal, as i spent the day working from the couch with my foot somehow propped higher than my head. supposedly that helps the swelling dissipate more quickly.

but today i did have a glimpse of how amazing it would be to have someone around all the time. you see, it's very difficult to walk a dog when your foot is out of commission. it would be so nice to wake up and know that there was someone else who could walk penny around the block a few times to save my foot from discomfort.

these are the things that remind me how nice it would be. to not be alone. to not have leftovers every night and to have someone who could hold back your hair when you've had just one too many shots of tequila (compliments of a certain eeeeemsOne).

but until then i'll ride my bike with penny instead of walking because it doesn't hurt as much. and i'll watch flashforward with my little brother on his first night of visiting. and i'll count down the hours until i can go back to the office and NOT be trapped in my house.

and hope that day three.sixty.two is a bit more fun than today.

it will be, i know it.

three.hundred.sixty.four.

2010-08-30T23:08:00.004-04:00

i write this as my foot freezes from the ice wrapped around it.

yes, i'm suffering through the "I" in the "RICE" treatment. apparently it's the only thing to fix a sprain. or so every internet site and mother i know has told me over the course of the past 48 hours.

yes, i have become a victim to the wedding sprained foot. you know, i do think there is one at every celebration.

i had to admit though, it's a sprain i'm almost happy to have as it did happen at the most fabulous wedding. and although it's terribly uncomfortable (and made my travel to work today cost an insane fifty dollars) it does remind me every second that it's there, and therefore where it happened and then i think of how happy ryan and betsy were and it's almost manageable.

thank gawd for weddings.

because if i'm going to talk about things i like, weddings would definitely be up there. they are, quite possibly, one of the greatest events on earth. i mean, think about it, how often these days are we reminded that people love each other. and not just a little, but A LOT.

and how often are we reminded that when someone really loves someone else, the thought of spending their whole lives together isn't scary, it's comforting (right alex and andrea?!?!).

really, i think it's amazing.

trust me, i know it's also a bit naive, but sometimes i'd rather be that than cynical. plus, i used all my cynical energy while watching bachelor pad tonight.

so here's to all of you who got married last weekend. and to those of you who will be getting married soon (you know who you are *cough* kayla *cough*). and to those of you who just got engaged - be so happy. and let's start planning that wedding now! ;)

for me, i'll continue to dry out the bouquet i caught over the weekend and continue to count down the remaining three hundred and sixty three days i have to find a husband (or so the story goes ...)

here's to day three sixty three.

wish me luck!

on hiatus

2010-08-25T23:47:00.003-04:00

every girl (and boy, for that matter) needs to take a break.

that said, i'm taking a little hiatus from the daily blogs.

please don't cry (eileen, the only one who reads this every day).

you see, i'm going to a friend's wedding this weekend.

and i'm not sure what will take place on this adventure.

what i can promise is to update @tiffanylikes. so check in with me there.

i mean even the drunkest wedding guest can type out 140 characters, right?

here's to hoping!!

until then, my BIG TIME congrats go out to betsy and ryan.

my wish for you is a big house filled with children.

not because i want to curse you with that.

but because i know that is exactly what you want.

and people like you totally deserve that.

you're thirty: lesson number two

2010-08-23T22:58:00.002-04:00

it's hard to blog today as i'm not sure what i was supposed to learn that i didn't know already? was today a reinforcement kind of day? you know the kind. the ones that make you realize that those stooooopid proverbs are more right than they are wrong.

yeah, it was one of those kind of days.

so i guess today, my thirty year old brain, is asking me to try and make sense of things. things that happen only when you least expect them to, or when you're not ready for them to happen. and the kind of things that really make you think about what you really want.

for once though, i can say i'm excited about having those kind of things in my life. maybe this is a turning point in my older age. that of being a bit excited for the opportunity of change and not running away from it. that definitely is a nice feeling.

here's to feeling young but being a bit smarter.

(i guess thirty does have it's perks! ;)

you're thirty: lesson number one

2010-08-22T22:23:00.004-04:00

i've been thinking a lot lately.

about how amazing it would be to take an adventure like elizabeth gilbert (minus having to go through a divorce first).

about how awesome it would be to know that everything works out just the way you want it to in the end - you know, the white picket fence (or in my case, the music venue) you've always wanted is yours before you're too old to appreciate it.

and about how easy it is to remind yourself that you are really able to make the right decisions for yourself, even when sometimes they seem like they will be really hard to make.

yes, these are the things you think about when you're thirty.

well, apparently they are.

i think if there is one thing i can say that i learned from today it would be that doing nothing is sometimes the best way to get caught up with yourself. or at least, having no schedule. you know, doing what you want. going to a special silent yoga class or baking two batches of banana chocolate chip muffins. the kind of things that make you forget that in only a mere few hours you'll be back to being a real grown up with responsibilities.

yeah, that is what sundays are good for.

for that and eating meat pie. meat pie that reminds you of the best feeling ever -- christmas morning.

i will apologize now if it seems as though i've been all over the place lately. it's this growing up thing. it's got me all over the map.

but soon, soon i'll be back to learning. and knowing what is good for me. and not skipping yoga on saturdays.

until then i'm going to celebrate that it's time for the EX and that my little brother is here.

both of those things won't last forever so i'm going to soak them up while i can.

welcome back, little brother!

2010-08-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

getting ready for bed knowing that my little brother is sleeping in the next room is probably one of the best feelings i've had in a really long time.

i don't know how many times i've said it, but i wish deeply that one of my siblings lived here. or at least closer. it isn't fun to have three siblings you love like crazy and only get to see them twice (sometimes only once) a year.

myles (my little brother) is the complete opposite of me in so many ways. i'm loud. he's quiet. i'm (sometimes) TOO friendly. he's super shy. i'm a size ten. he's a size two (if there is such a thing in the world of men's jeans). but somehow this works perfectly for us and makes us inseparable.

if there's one thing i can say that i love about being a big sister, it's that your brothers and sisters never grow out of looking up to you. or trusting you for advice. or of telling you their secrets. it's a nice feeling to know that there are people out there who trust you for serious and know that there is never any bit of advice that you'd give them that would intentionally be bad for them.

and for that reason, and so many others ...

i love being a big sister.

especially to my crowd of siblings.

you see, they are the best.

but right now i've got to go convince one of them that he should sleep before his big motorcycle race tomorrow.

ok, so maybe i'm more like a mom now than a big sister.

i guess that's what happens when you turn thirty!

you're thirty: appreciate the good things

2010-08-19T23:35:00.003-04:00

today i just want to say that i'm so very thankful for good things.

good things like an amazing yoga class.

and good things like walks at lunch with friends.

and good things like coming home to, quite possibly, the world's cutest dog.

it's these things that make up for everything else. everything else like hangovers and break ups and having to wake up really early.

yeah, i'm thankful for good things.

you should be, too.

you're thirty: riddle me this!

2010-08-18T22:27:00.003-04:00

today someone asked me a question that actually made me stop and think for a second. that made me realize that it's been ages since someone asked something that i didn't have a pre-fabricated answer for.

you know. like answers to "how's your day?" or "how are you?" or "what are you doing tonight?". all of those questions you always have an answer for, ready every time someone asks.

but today someone asked me this:

"how is your heart?"

i'll be honest. my first instinct was to say "fine. oh i'm good." i mean isn't that what everyone answers to everything these days? but then i stopped myself. and i thought about it for a second.

maybe the reason no one really answers questions these days is because they don't want to say what they are really feeling.

there are many things i could have said:

my heart is happy because i'm about to walk through my front door to see penny (my pooch) and i haven't seen her since this morning.

i could have also said:

my heart is lonely because i have to come home to or play with my hair.

and i could have said:

my heart is excited because my little brother will be here soon.

but instead i said "oh, it's fine." "it's good." "it's fine."

i think if we all just started answering questions truthfully we'd all learn so much about each other. i do recognize that there is a limit to what we all want to hear about each other, but i also think that knowing enough about one another may help us all to get along more.

i mean you can't tell me that there aren't other people out there who are excited to walk through their front door to see their dog. you also can't tell me that there aren't other people out there longing to crawl into bed next to someone they are crazy about. and you really can't tell me that there isn't someone out there who will also be reunited with someone they love this weekend.

you see, if we all answered questions honestly we might find that we have a lot more in common than we think we do. and that might lead us to places where we'd be much better off.

so tomorrow when someone asks you a question, think about your answer before you spit out "everything's great" or "i'm fine." you might just learn something about yourself (and someone else) when you do.

exciting, no?

i sure think so!

you're thirty: get to bed

2010-08-18T01:00:00.002-04:00

it's late and all i really want to be doing is sleeping.

so this will be, as usual at this time (when i'm not completely intoxicated) short and sweet.

my late night days are over. this one am stuff just doesn't seem to work when you're thirty. (oh, who am i kidding?! it didn't work for me when i was twenty four! ;)

before i leave you pretty much high and dry though, i wanted to make sure you had something fun to check out today. you see, it's been a while since i've told you something fun.

on the evening of august 25th something AMAZING will be happening in toronto. and to get in, all you have to do is volunteer some of your time. to an amazing cause, FREE.I.P.

check out the details here and enjoy!

here's to growing up

2010-08-16T22:34:00.004-04:00

there's something to be said about monumental birthdays.

you know, like ten. when you finally reach the double digits. for some reason it makes you feel like more of a grown up. you start counting down the years until you can be a teenager and then until you can get your license.

then comes your twenty and your twenty five. upon which, if you're like me, you have a mini mental break down.

and somehow, after that, up creeps thirty. i think it creeps because you stop thinking about it. you stop thinking about what part of your life is next and just start living the one you have in front of you. and i think that's an amazing thing.

but, at the same time, i think a number like thirty makes you realize that growing up is something you do, not something that just happens. growing up makes you think about things and maybe changes how you feel about others. it makes you wonder if you've made the right decisions or if you've still got things to work out.

growing up makes you think.

about a.lot.

i think when someone said "growing up is for the birds" this is the time they meant. not the time when you realize that you have to do your own laundry or pay your own bills. but the time when you realize that you love someone more than they can love you, or you want someone who can't want you back or the times when you know you're watching something fall apart and there is nothing you can do to hold it together.

or, the times when all you want to do is be irresponsible. and remember what it felt like to not have to worry about anything.

like that time you did a century in university. with coolers.

yeah, that's when growing up is for the birds (you've got me, i actually have no idea what that saying is supposed to mean. why is something bad if it's "for the birds"? because birds eat anything?! any light you could shed, oh faithful readers, would be greatly appreciated!). those times when you realize that things get more complicated with age. even if you try to make it not so.

so here's to being a grown up.

and learning as i go.

wish me luck (because i already need it).

ps - a handful of my most favourite boys are celebrating birthdays today. yup, boys. so to chris mcdowall, george strombo and nick ZED -- happy, happy birthday! i hope you all got whatever it was that you wanted (and tons of happy birthday messages on fbook ;) hugs and kisses to you all.

you are now thirty: learn this

2010-08-15T21:56:00.002-04:00

to all of you avid readers (yes, i know there are a few of you - yaaaaaaay) my apologies for my lack of posts over the course of the past five days.

i've been drunk.

but now, after spending a whole day in my pyjamas (i honestly can't remember the last time i've done that!) i'm ready to come back strong, a bit older and a whole lot wiser.

for those of you who are just joining us, i thought i would bring you up to speed on everything i learned on the road to my 30th birthday. you know, the things that came up every day just to remind me that even though i'm a grown up i still have lots to learn. and that these things tend to present themselves when you least expect them to.

here they are, in all their glory. my "you're almost thirty" lessons:

1. appreciate the amazing friends you make along the way

2. make sure you find at least one thing that makes you happy every day

3. everything changes (like it or not)

4. babysitting is harder than i remember it to be (be patient)

5. perfect can come really easily and in different types of packages

6. there are always going to be things you hate

7. take things as they come

8. working together gets AWESOME shit done

9. keep the important ones close

10. it's ok to take a break (from yoga, your friends, life in general)

11. positivity is super important

12. shit happens

13. family is amazing

14. people will always need you. even when you say they they don't, they do

15. "pace things out" (aka take things more slowly)

16. be thankful for the past and never really let it go

17. enjoy the time you have

18. listen to your body

19. let things go

20. be a good sport

21. it is impossible to make everyone happy all the time

22. all good things come to an end

going through all of these makes me very thankful for the lessons we learn every day if we just take the time to listen.

the one lesson i've learned since turning thirty last thursday is this: drinking at 30 is hard.

i really should avoid it at all costs.

here's to getting old.

and no longer stealing glasses.

and listening to yourself because you are always right.

at least when it comes to making decisions for your life.

you're almost thirty: lesson twenty

2010-08-11T23:47:00.002-04:00

in 12 minutes i'll be thirty.

crazy really. at least the 17 year old high school graduate thinks so.

eight and counting.

however, seeing as this post was not meant to be a countdown let me get back to lessons. you know, all the wisdom you really want to learn from me, a girl who really has no idea where her life is going or where it will end up, eventually.

yeah, the perfect person to be giving lesson advice. just perfect. :)

today's lesson was easy. it's that all good things come to an end.

for example, take my 20s. i can honestly say, looking back, that they were amazing. yes, there was heartache. yes, there were moments when i really didn't think i'd make it through another day lying in my bed in the smallest bedroom/living cross in the history of korean apartments.

but i made it.

and not only did i make it, i climbed the great wall of china in the process. literally.

yeah, my 20s were outstanding. ten years that i wouldn't change a thing about. not.one.thing.

but, before i even stopped to think about it, here i am, on my last night of 20. a decade ending, and there is nothing i can do about it.

so it's true. all good things do come to an end.

but at least this time, i'm excited.

excited for what's to come.

and what else could i ask for on the eve of my 30th birthday?

you're right. not much more.

you're almost thirty: lesson nineteen

2010-08-10T23:03:00.003-04:00

in two sleeps i will be thirty.

although i'm completely more prepared for this birthday than i was for my 25th, it's still crazy to think that it's here.

when i was in high school i thought that by thirty i'd have my life figured out. that maybe i'd be married. with kids and a house and a car and a dog.

you know, because thirty feels old when you're eighteen.

but the truth is, thirty doesn't feel old at all. it feels as though i'm just getting started. that i'm climbing toward what will one day, hopefully, be the biggest peak. yup, this is how i feel about turning thirty.

my lesson today had nothing to do with that though, so i'm sorry for the diversion. sometimes it's just easy to get caught up in the things that are going around and around in your brain!

my lesson for today was that it is really pretty much impossible to make everyone happy. don't get me wrong, you can definitely try, but i think this is where the saying "die trying" comes from.

truth be told, we're all crazy in our own way. we all have issues. recognizing that makes it easier to understand that there will always be things that someone doesn't agree with or think your right about.

the challenge is in learning that this is the case and therefore realizing that you simply have to be confident in the position you take when you take one.

be prepared for a challenge.

and, if necessary, fight back. but only with kindness.

that way they'll have nothing to fight back against.

and eventually, you'll win them over to the "dark" side.

it works, always.

and if it doesn't, just think of the secondary lesson i learned today from one of my colleague's son's friends and apply it to your thought process when working through an moment when someone is unhappy with a decision you've made or an action you've taken.

you see, when this young gentleman was asked if he went to church (before bedtime prayers) he quickly responded, "no. i believe in myself."

point made youngin'. point well made.

so that's that. you can't make everyone happy. but what you can do is believe that you've done all the ground work to make your decision the right one for you and, let's be honest, that's the best any of us can do.

if people don't like it, they can eat chicken.

gross, rubbery, fundraiser dinner chicken.

you're almost thirty: lesson eighteen

2010-08-09T23:22:00.002-04:00

it just dawned on me that my 30th birthday will happen right after lesson twenty.

how perfect.

today, on day eighteen i'm unsure of the lesson. i mean i was witness to a lot of things today, but i'm not sure if any of them were things i haven't learned already in this process. today i definitely referenced the "let go" lesson. also, i was reminded of the lesson that taught me i need to need people sometimes. and today definitely brought back lesson fourteen, the one that taught me to never really let go of the past, because it is what you usually use to get you through things that seem tough.

weeding through all of those past lessons made it difficult to find lesson eighteen. but now, at almost eleven thirty (an hour past my yoga practicing bedtime) i've realized that today's lesson was to learn to be a good sport.

just ask jeff smith and mike coates. they'll tell you how it rallies the troops.

how it makes everyone feel like a part of a team.

and how it just sometimes makes your day a little bit better.

so tomorrow i'm going to do my best to be a good sport.

to make sure that i try to make the best of everything.

even if it's raining and that makes penny more of a diva (yup, she refuses to walk on the grass when it's wet, which means she hardly ever goes pee when it's raining as she doesn't pee on anything BUT grass -- correction, DRY grass) and therefore a million times more crazy than usual.

here's to a personal challenge that i know is going to kick my ass.

i wish you luck with yours (that is, if any of you suckers are actually trying to learn things with me in my soon-to-be old age!).

you're almost thirty: lesson seventeen

2010-08-08T22:19:00.002-04:00

first things first, i'd like to send a whole bunch of happy birthday wishes out to my most favourite paul. he's celebrating in a big way today (well, not really, he only let us invite four people over to his birthday cake reveal) and i wanted to make sure you were all aware.

even though it's a sunday, which usually means that my brain is not working at it's normal speed, today's lesson was easy to learn.

today's lesson lesson taught me to learn to let things go.

wether it's something that's bothering you personally, something that someone says in spite or simply a thought in your head that won't leave you alone.

just learn, in the words of one of the only female singers on my ipod -- frou frou -- let go, let go.

yes, i fully realize that this is easier said than done.

i know that it will take practice.

but if there is one thing yoga has taught me it's that you only can easily get rid of the things you don't need.

so let's all practice letting go.

together it won't be as hard, right?

yes, that's what i'm going to tell myself.

and it's what you should tell yourself, too.

then when we check in with each other we'll at least have some updates on how we've managed to make our lives a little easier simply by learning to let.shit.go.

you're almost thirty: lesson sixteen

2010-08-07T21:23:00.003-04:00

so you are all totally correct.

i fell asleep before blogging last night.

and i wish i could say that it was the most glorious sleep of my life. alas, that was definitely not the case. i actually don't know who did more tossing and turning -- me, penny or my mom. what i do know is that between the hours of 11pm and 4am est none of us were doing much sleeping.

but now, as penny is curled up under my bed in hers and i look at the clock and realize it's nine twenty three on a saturday night and i'm pretty much all tucked in, now i'm ready for one of those amazing nights. you know the ones when you wake up the next day and say "holy hell, that was the best sleep i've ever had."

i don't know about you, but those are generally a result of me being asleep before ten pm.

and i think soon this will be fine as i am getting older, after all. ;)

needless to say, after a day of travelling and unpacking and trying to re-hydrate, i'm happy to be in bed, minutes before sleep.

and that happiness is what made me realize my lesson for today -- that being that you have to listen to your body. i fought this sleepiness for about three hours. and finally, at nine pm, i have given in.

needing to learn to listen to yourself is one of my most favourite lessons to date. however, i will say it trumps any in difficulty. yes, even if i've said this about other lessons you can forget about those previous mentions as this lesson, for me, will be one of the most difficult.

i do wonder, when did listening to yourself become letting other people down??!?!?!

all i know is that i'm going to try hard to start listening to myself more carefully. you know, sleep when i need to sleep. do yoga only when i want to do yoga (and not when i think i HAVE to). drink beer when i want to drink beer and tell people i love them when really it's the only thing i want to say but replace it with something less risky to avoid "uncomfortable". and, perhaps most importantly, listening to myself when something feels wrong.

there is something to be said about this gut feeling of ours.

i mean look at ali. she knew she wanted roberto from the start.

here's to her, listening to herself.

funny how i don't feel the same way about jason and his listening to himself about molly ...

but i digress into the world of the bachelor/bachelorette.

all this to say that listening to ourselves might be the hardest thing we'll have to do tomorrow.

mostly because usually the things we want ourselves to hear are things that make us feel selfish.

i just think this lesson wants us to start thinking about ourselves first, in a way that doesn't make anyone else feel less important.

and i think that's possible.

i mean it is, right?

here's to lesson sixteen.

you're almost thirty: lesson fifteen

2010-08-05T22:26:00.000-04:00

i'm about 32 hours away from the end of my vacation.

this kills me.

the worst part is that i know i'm not ready to leave new brunswick yet. penny and i are just getting into this groove of morning walk, afternoon swim followed by beach nap.

does it really have to end tomorrow????

i suppose this means, that since my vacation does, in fact, have to be over when it is supposed to be over my lesson today must be found somewhere in that fact.

today i'm going to think positively and recognize that my lesson is to enjoy the time you have. either on vacation or with someone you love or when you're in the middle of a moment you know may not happen again for a really long time.

in my case that means filling tomorrow with all the things i would do if i wasn't leaving the next day and not to countdown the minutes, but instead soak up every second.

this could be, hands down, one of my hardest lessons to date. mostly because as i lie here all i can think about is calling to change my flight.

toronto doesn't need me, does it?

there are garlic fingers here. and drive in restaurants. you can see the stars every night and no matter where you are you are no more than 20 minutes from the beach (but usually less).

but my lesson today is right, i simply need to appreciate all of these things while i can andknow that they'll be here when i come back.

growing up isn't always fun.
buti guess that's a lesson for every day and not just today.

here's to an amazing last vacation day.
who knows what kind of trouble we'll get into ...

you're almost thirty: lesson fourteen

2010-08-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

my dad told me today that doesn't get us "internet people." that he thinks those of us who blog or vlog or post anything "have nothing better to do with our time."

i immediately corrected him. yup, immediately.

today was one of those days that ends up reminding you of where you've been, not where you're going.

as i met my friend's two daughters for the first time it made me long for a time that we were all together in ange's basement drinking shots out of tupperwear glasses.

seeing andrea's parents for the first time since her funeral made me think about the times we all used to sneak out of our parent's houses to get incredibly intoxicated just to passout by eleven.

and watching my little sister head off to work at a shoe store made me long for the days i'd walk into the mall and work at my shoe store, sometimes still drunk (please see previous paragraph ;).

so i guess today's lesson is to be thankful for the past and to never really let it go. to appreciate where it's taken you and what it allows you to remember about things that used to make you happy.

like sleepovers at jackie's while watching really random movies and waiting to hear her parents snore in unison.

like christmas parties where you exchange the most random presents.

and like the time that you and a handful of people thought it would be wise to carve an eight foot piece of styrofoam with one of their mother's carving knives.

yeah, it's important to remember that these things were all it took to make you happy.

and that, in looking back, they still can.

you're almost thirty: lesson fourteen

2010-08-03T22:20:00.000-04:00

there's definitely something perfect about being home.

maybe it'show you can useyour parents car and never have to pay for gas.

or how your laundry magically gets done - even if one white shirt does manage to turn pink in the process.

or maybe it's just how everything seems to come together just the way you want it to, over and over again.

yes, home is definitely the best place to be.no matter where that home is to you.

today my life lesson was paraphrased best by one of my most wonderful friends. she said to me that we need to "pace it out," you know, take our time.

it really occurred to me that this is true. we really do need to learn to take things more slowly.

take my vacation, for example. i currently find myself in the middle of a most wonderful break and all i can think about is how fast it will all be over.

what i should be doing is taking each day, frick -- each hour of each day -- as it comes. enjoying the good stuff and not just thinking about the fact that soon i will be re-chained to my desk without sun for weeks.

so that is what i'm going to try my best to learn from today. and remind myself of, at least for the next three days.

i don't get to come here that often.

so this is to me, pacing it out.

you're almost thirty: lesson thirteen

2010-08-02T21:34:00.000-04:00

tonight, as i lay in bed getting caught up with my sister, i realizr that today's lesson is starring me in the face.

people will always need you. even when they say you don't they do.

ok, maybe not everyone will need you. but there will always be people who secretly can't live without you.

and it's the best.

knowing that my 17 year old sister gave up hanging out with friends and watching tv in her room before bed to hang out with me makes me realize how much she needs a big sister.

and it's awesome. really, really awesome.

kind of like being home in general. there's something to be said about being SO exhuasted when you hop into bed that you fall asleep before your dog does.

i love home.
it's perfect.
and people need me here.
more importantly, i need them and they are fine with that.

thanks.gawd.

you're almost thirty: lesson thirteen

2010-08-01T23:30:00.000-04:00

tonight was my birthday party.

well, birthday party number one. my sister's boyfriend (20), me (30), my mom's friend (40) and my mother (50) celebrated with beer, more beer and fireworks. it was amazing.

there are a lot of things i need to learn before i turn thirty. the thing i learned today was that family is amazing.

as my drunken aunt and dad watch some totally random videos online, i am super thankful that i have a family who comes together to celebrate the fact that we love each other. a.lot.

i love being home. the lessons i learn here over the course of the next week will be ones that are super important.

i promise my delivery of them will be better when i haven't been drinking since noon.

stay tuned.
with love, from bathurst.

you're almost thirty: lesson twelve

2010-08-01T01:43:00.000-04:00

i had a whole blog written and then my technology decided to be horrible and lose it all.

that said,seeing as it's almost three am and i've been travelling for almost ten hours i will say that today's lesson was definitely "shit happens".

ok, so a bit of a cop out but all i can think of is sleep.

well, sleep and hoping my parents dog would just decide it's time to stop stalking penny.

here's to being almost thirty and being home.

i will say there is nothing like coming home to make you feel young and old at the same time.

here's to a week of that exact feeling!

you're almost thirty: lesson eleven

2010-07-30T23:25:00.002-04:00

my stomach is so full.

perhaps today's lesson should have been learning not to over indulge.

however, i really don't think that's possible. well, at least not when there is a plate of calamari sitting in front of you. the stuff makes you forget that you still have a main dish coming. yes, it has that kind of power. especially after you've lived in korea for two years.

that's right friends, i honestly cannot control myself around squid. it's a fact. please don't make too much fun of me for it.

in the middle of all my pre-vacation prep today (yes, i am on my way home - get ready for some really great lessons, i feel them coming a la east coast style) day eleven's message was super loud. like it was being impatient and just wanted me to find it already.

maybe that's because day ten was so shy. eleven is definitely compensating.

lesson eleven taught me how important it is to be positive. don't get me wrong, today wasn't the easiest and best day of life. today was actually crazy busy, trying to get everything together before being out of the office (you all know how those days are). but in the middle of it all i had this insanely strong urge to just feel happy.

to dance around the health team lunch table.

to laugh out loud.

to just do things that make you realize things aren't as serious as you think they are.

ok, maybe sometimes they are.

but not always.

and it's that not always window we have to do our best to open.

how many times have you been stuck working on a project -- at home or at work -- that you don't love? it happens. i know it oh too well.

the good news is that there is always a minute for a quick reminder that things always go better when you're not moping. yes, things always go better when you're "all in".

you're almost thirty: lesson ten

2010-07-30T00:01:00.002-04:00

you'd think today's lesson would have made a bigger fuss.

seeing as it's a double digit and all.

but truth be told, it was actually harder to find. it wasn't out cheering and jumping and being happy that there was never any chance it would be a single digit number again. nope, there was definitely none of that. instead it just sat around, quietly, until i found it.

what lesson number ten was trying to tell me was that it's ok to take a break. to be quiet for a few seconds or minutes or hours. that it is perfectly fine to take time for yourself in the middle of a crazy busy day because you need it. let's be honest, you deserve it too. but most importantly, you need it.

so the next time you feel bad about not going to the gym five days in a row or about actually taking an hour lunch out of the office, think about how good taking a break makes you feel. how when you when you actually let yourself relax in the middle of something, doing that something actually feels much better.

go out. get coffee. take a walk at lunch.

take a day off from the gym. or from yoga. or from spinning.

just sit around in pyjama pants and love it.

soak it up.

you'll be back from your break before you know it.

and then, then you'll be wishing you would have enjoyed it more.

trust me, it's true.

you're almost thirty: lesson nine

2010-07-29T00:00:00.003-04:00

today's lesson was really easy to both find and understand: keep the important ones.

yes, in this case "ones" refers to people in your lives.

but "important ones" doesn't refer to those who hold a role of authority in your life. in this case it refers to those people who have become part of the reason you are who you are. the ones who you know that, no matter what, they'll be there for you.

i have, as of late, as i'm sure many of you have done in your lives, made a career move. not only does this change your normal daily routine, but it also shifts your circle of friends. the people you used to see more than you saw your family, or pet or house quickly become the people you don't see at all.

think about it. it's true.

it's kind of like when you leave high school or university thinking that you'll stay in touch with ever person you've ever shared a pitcher of blue lagoons with at the pub.

and we all know how that goes.

but the one thing that's different with the people who come into your life when you're older is that you recognize why they are important to have in your life. and how there are times when you couldn't have made it through another step backstage at the juno awards without them, for example. and other times when all you could think about was how horrible you felt and then there she was, the friend who surprised you with a party. and we all have that friend who knows when you're just on this side of cranky and knows how to bring you back.

yes, these are the important ones i'm talking about. the ones who may have been forced upon you -- be it by work or a class you took or a mutual friend. you know, the ones who turn into the people you know you can talk to and who understand you the most.

keep these people.

you see, i think they start to get harder to find the older you get.

ps - you already all know my love of MBF. that said, please please please go watch his newest video here!

you're almost thirty: lesson eight

2010-07-27T23:45:00.002-04:00

it's too late again. i think today's lesson is that the older you get the harder it is to stay up late.

walking in from work at 11:30pm, i know this almost thirty year old is cranky because all she wants to do is sleep. alas, tomorrow is garbage day and my towels still need to be put in the dryer. honestly, i think there should be warning about getting older.

yes, it does come with some amazing advantages.

but it also comes with things that suck like having to take out the garbage late at night.

this, however, is not my real lesson for today (let's be honest, i realized this ages ago -- probably the first time that my mom wasn't around to do my laundry when all my comfortable underwear had run out!). today's lesson was definitely about how much awesome people can do when they work together.

don't get me wrong. working in teams can be a challenge. people have different opinions and think that things should be done differently.

however, i think it really is amazing what can happen when people decide to work together. either in work or in real life, it is always impressive what comes of a group that really works well as a team.

what i guess this means is that we should all try to figure out how we can work with others to get things done. or at least look at ways that we can come together to make things easier on each other.

yes, there are a lot of things to get done in our lives.

but think of how much easier they would be if we all lent our experience to others who needed it?

don't worry. i realize that everyone can't help everyone. or work with everyone. or play on a team with everyone.

but everyone can help one person. or work with one person. or play with one person.

and eventually, if every one person did that -- well eventually we'd all be playing. together.

how amazing would that be? a life changing game of dodgeball.

frickin' fantastic.

ps - i've got my tickets to the game, do you?

you're almost thirty: lesson number seven

2010-07-26T23:13:00.002-04:00

as i watch the minutes go by on the clock next to my bed i keep thinking that i wish lesson number seven was a really easy one to pin point.

you see, today was one of those days that tries to give you a lot of things at one time and you have to decide what all of it, together, means. or how all of it can come together to teach you one thing that you should be able to take with you somewhere. wherever it is that you will eventually need the lesson.

i will openly admit today was a challenge for me. from the second my alarm went off i knew it was going to be hard. i mean if dragging myself out of bed to go biking with penny was hard, how would i make it through yoga and a day of marathon meetings?

you guessed it. i hit the wall even before my toes touched the ever so beige carpet that finds itself covering my concrete bedroom floor.

needless to say, i think the lesson for today was to take things as they come. you know, deal with things bit by bit, piece by piece. knowing that even when you're feeling like you can't possibly get up and do anything there is always at least one thing you CAN do. and it's that thing that will keep you moving forward.

today, i could bike with penny. as long as i didn't wear the pants that are too long and always get caught in my bike chain.

yes, i could do that.

and after biking penny i felt awake enough to go to yoga. and class was amazing.

and then, even though the king street car was sooooooo delayed, i got to work close to on time because i used my brain and decided to take the bathurst streetcar instead.

you see, taking things a bit at a time at least got me to work. and to think, three hours earlier i couldn't imagine getting myself out of bed.

that said, if you take anything from today's lesson let it be that no matter how long your to do list is you can do at least one thing on it that will push you to keep going. and it doesn't have to be a work to do list. it can be a life one. so what if those "life" tasks (say finding your dream job or taking that month long vacation you never think you'll be able to) take a bit more time to cross off than making a few work related phone calls. at least by figuring out what you need to do to get there will let you work away at them every day. this will make it possible for you to one day cross them off the list and that is what taking things bit by bit can accomplish. promise.

what was that saying? a journey begins with a single step?

or in my case, dragging my ass out of bed, washing my face, picking the right pants and biking with penny.

here's to trying to remember that in six and a half hours.

wish me luck!

you're almost thirty: lesson six

2010-07-25T23:04:00.002-04:00

it's sunday night.

i have to openly admit that there are things i really hate about sundays.

like the fact that i always end up putting off doing groceries until this day. and then the grocery store is SO busy because everyone else has decided to do the same thing.

or the fact that all i want to do is stay up a bit later so that the day of freedom won't be over, but a looming six am wake up also makes me want to be sleeping about two hours ago.

but there are also things i love about sundays. i love having dinner with friends while watching the next food network star. i love that i usually end up curled up on the couch with penny eating something that i've baked at some point over the weekend.

all this said, i think my "you're almost thirty" lesson for today is that there are always going to be things you hate. like grocery shopping and the mall on a saturday. but no matter what, you can at least find things you really like to balance the things you don't like out.

and this can make all the bad things seem not SO bad.

so the next time you get a stressful email from work on a sunday afternoon, or can't stop thinking about every little thing that you didn't do on a weekend that you were supposed to do, take a second and think about all the things you did do that you liked.

i mean honestly, who LIKES to do laundry or groceries on the weekend anyway?

that's right. almost no one i know.

instead, be thankful for all the things you do that you do like.

like eating three pieces of pistascio bunt cake.

or getting caught up with old friends.

or, if you're like me, finally (finally) getting a shelving unit for your front entrance. one that might even inspire you to be more creative and open to whatever walks through your front door.

yeah. let's think of the good stuff. and try to forget about all those things we have to do even though we don't like to.

maybe if we stop thinking about them so much they'll stop being SO powerful.

and maybe then, just maybe, the things we like will win out in the end.

and then we won't ever feel bad about not liking something ever again.

what can i say?! i'm still very hopeful!

(but a few fingers crossed wouldn't hurt ;)

you're almost thirty: lesson five

2010-07-25T00:20:00.002-04:00

today was one of those days when you crawl into bed and think that everything in your life is perfect.

you know, the kind that helps you to forget about the fact that you didn't do yoga and that you probably won't do it tomorrow.

the kind when you see one of your best friends so happy.

and the kind that ends with getting to know new friends better -- the kind of way that makes you hope and wish that you're never not friends with them, ever.

yes, that's the kind of day today was.

on a day like this is hard to think of one lesson that's most important. or a lesson that comes out at all. but i'm sure there's one -- i just have to really think about it.

there are things i learned today that i think, even though not specific lessons, are things i should pass on to all of you. maybe that will make this post fair as you'll still learn things, just not something i've been insightful enough to notice.

today i definitely learned the reasons mothers invite their friends to parties (you know, bridal showers, baby showers, birthday parties ...). they invite their friends so they will have someone to help them clean up after the party is all over.

today i also learned that it IS possible for two people to be crazy about each other, if only because they have finally found the person who completely understands them. and when you find this, you actually know. at least, it seems like you do. and that is a bit of refreshing fresh air for this little hot yogan.

today was one of those days that just made me realize that sometimes, everything can be just fine. and not fine as in "things are falling apart but i don't want you to worry" fine, but fine as in everything is perfect fine. you know, the best kind.

so i guess today i learned that perfect can come really easily, and in different types of packages. from homemade tzatziki to a good bottle of red wine, perfect is awesome.

i just think it doesn't happen that often so we can recognize it when it actually does.

you're turning thirty: lesson four

2010-07-24T03:27:00.003-04:00

there were many far more insightful lessons i learned today than the one i am going to tell you about.

but i'm sure i will learn them again, or at least hope to as it's three twenty eight am and all i can think about right now is sleep.

that said, my lesson from today that i'm choosing to talk about is this:

babysitting is harder than i remember it to be.

although, i will openly admit, there is something good about the way you feel when you finally convince a crying baby that there is really no need to scream and to sleep, instead.

yes, there is a big feeling of accomplishment.

my apologies that this lesson really does not apply to anything insightful or thoughtful or earth shattering.

however, i do think we can take away from it that things that used to be easy don't stay that way. and, thankfully, this should also mean that things that used to be hard (say, keeping your bedroom clean ;) get easier with time.

so maybe today's lesson is really just to be patient. with the baby you're watching while her parents are out. and with yourself. everything does work out, eventually, and it's your patience that gets you there.

look at what you can learn from babysitting induced sleep deprivation.

impressive, no?

you're almost thirty: lesson three

2010-07-22T23:13:00.002-04:00

my lesson today was one of those ones you never really want to learn. or, more specifically, it was one of those lessons that you learn over and over but never gets easier to deal with.

my lesson today was that everything changes. and that sometimes this change is for the good (like a new job or you win the lotto) and sometimes this change is just not that easy.

most important of today's lesson, i think, was that even though change can be drastically hard, it's always for the better. i think there are too many times when we don't want to challenge ourselves because we find ourselves in a place that's comfortable. a place where we could be happy staying for a long time, even if it comes with some difficulties. i mean it's easier to deal with the devil you know, right?

the truth is (or at least the truth according to me) is that change sucks.

yup, i said it.

change sucks balls.

but, it also forces you to learn something about yourself. and it lets you lean on people and learn that it's ok to ask for help.

change forces you to open up. to become that person you were ages ago when the thing you're doing now was new. it rips the band aid off and gets you to breathe, even when you're not ready.

you know, just like your mom. when she pulls out your tooth that's just hanging on by a thread.

so tomorrow, instead of getting angry when the subway shuts down and you have to find another way to work or losing your mind when all the plans you made get switched around, remember that change is good for you. even unexpected change. it teaches you things. and helps you learn.

here's to lesson number three.

dear god please help me remember it. all.the.time.

you're almost thirty: lesson two

2010-07-21T23:00:00.003-04:00

today i feel like i'm more than thirty. you know the days when you're super tired (i thank jorge for staying up ALL night, well until 4am which, when you're almost 30 feels like all night ...) and you just can't wait to get home and crawl into bed and sleep.

yes, that's the kind of day i had today.

but it did make me learn my "you're almost thirty" lesson really early in the day. and i'm glad i did.

you see, today's lesson was really clear because it had to do with making sure you find something to be happy about every day.

trust me, i know this can be a challenge. when your dog is up all night not feeling well so you're exhausted the next day. when all you can think about is how much you're dreading that meeting at work or your appointment at the dentist or how horrible it is that you have to go grocery shopping after work.

with all of that life stuff, it's easy to forget that there are good things that happen to you every day. cheesy, i know (you don't have to point it out with comments -- well, unless you really want to make a statement about how i'm generally always cheesy, like it's a signature thing or something ...) but true.

today i was happy about a lot of things. i got tickets to three jason mraz shows. that's right, THREE. in.a.row. how could that NOT make me happy? (i mean you do all know my slight obsession ...).

but even without mraz there were awesome things about today. a happy call from a client. sharing banana bread with the office. knowing that people really do care about each other and will go out of their way to make sure people know.

so tomorrow i challenge you to find at least three things that make you happy. if this is hard, start with one. i do know that when you're working away, counting down the seconds until it's time to go home ... well then sometimes it's hard to see any of the day as good. but, tomorrow i challenge you to try.

i mean today i walked into my neighbourhood and my neighbour was having a patio party. he invited us over for dinner, drinks and icy squares.

how could that not make me happy?

and how could i not be thankful for the fact that really, we are all here to make each other feel even just a little bit better.

i'm excited for you to challenge yourselves with my lesson two learnings.

and i'm even more excited because i know you'll find something good barely even trying to.

that's the beauty of random life lessons. they just seem to happen.

ps - thank you everyone for reading - (even if it was just you, laura hughes, who visited the page four times today with your ghetto duck taped computer ;) -- we've reached the 200 mark!!!! next celebration goal is 500 so keep spreading the word.

you're almost 30: lesson one

2010-07-20T22:39:00.003-04:00

there is something about coming home and knowing that you're going to spend the night getting caught up with old friends and going for a walk with your pup. honestly, i don't think i can actually say there is anything i like better than that. well, not in my real life anyway.

(you're right, jason mraz and yoga are tied for at least second in the "things i like a lot" category)

there is much to think about this month as i get closer and closer to my 30th birthday. i feel as though every day has something that it is trying to teach me. you know. so that i'm ready. ready for this age that everyone says i'll enjoy the most of any decade of my life so far.

if that's the truth, maybe i should start to try and find the lesson of every day. although i'm thinking that maybe every lesson isn't really something that will be blogg-able, but perhaps i should try to figure out what they are just the same.

thing is, i already don't know what my lesson is today. actually, i take that back. i know exactly what my lesson was today. it was to appreciate the amazing friends that one gathers along the way. there are a lot of times when i feel as though we tend to forget how important a role our friends play in our lives. they nurse us when we're sick, they hold our hair back when we're puking, they let us sleep in their beds when we have no where to live.

most importantly, they open themselves up to us. and they love us for who we are.

and no matter how long it's been since you've sat across the table from each other, there is something about a catch up dinner that makes the whole world stop for a minute. and for that minute it feels as though you are exactly where you need to be. the place where you forget all of the things that really don't matter and learn to appreciate one of the only things that does.

so take what you will from my lesson from today. but do know that i strongly suggest you reach out and get in touch with a friend you haven't seen in a while. be it because of your busy life (or in my case, too much yoga!) or the fact that you really don't want to do anything but sit at home on your most comfortable couch with reruns of Law and Order: SVU. whatever it is, get up. go to dinner or drinks or a show.

it'll be worth it.

and your almost thirty self (who is living vicariously through me) will thank you.

so listen up, the sun hasn't set

2010-07-19T22:32:00.003-04:00

i know that this is a given, but there is just something about having the perfect kind of music for the day you're having. you know, when you wake up and on the way to yoga (or the subway, or the office) you are just hit with this thought of "i really want to listen to ...". i love when that happens. it's even better than when you wake up with a song already in your head.

you see, those song in your head kind of days come with too much pressure. say you wake up with one of your most favourite songs in your head. what happens if that day ends up being completely horrible? will you forever thing of this horrible day every time you hear your then favourite song?

right? you can totally see where i'm coming from, can't you? yes, you know you can.

but today i didn't have a song stuck in my head upon waking up. instead it was one of those glorious days when i knew, just by pulling out my iPod, what i wanted to listen to. and today that was frou frou. you know, the old school record.

if there are any of you out there who don't own this record, i strongly recommend that you get it RIGHT NOW. it's an amazing collection of songs. honestly, i don't think i can listen to let go and not feel happy. and that is always an outstanding quality for a song to have. especially on mondays!!

... and .... for those of you who are keeping track, we are now THREE views away from two hundred! imagine!!!!!

although i did go reread a post the other day, twice, so i think we should add an extra two on there just to be fair.

so, while listening to frou frou, please tell your friends to give my blog a read. and while you're at it, please ask them to send along suggestions for my mom's 50th birthday present.

i mean she's asked for me to sit and take pictures with her. that's it.

the woman is amazing (see previous post) and deserves more than that.

i'm definitely open to suggestions, starting now.

please put on your thinking caps!

last but not least, to my dear friend amber -- get yourself out of calgary and come to toronto so i can take care of you. i promise home cooked meals almost every night. hopefully that makes things where you are just a little bit better!

here's to five more readers joining the coolest team there is.

yip!

ps - can i just say that i hate frank? yup, that's right, frank from the bachelorette. and i do understand (don't worry) that hate is a strong word. but the guy is batty. honestly, without his glasses on i feel as though he is one of those people who JUST might try to strangle me in my sleep. good luck, nicole! i actually think being with his is what will make you sick (did she not say that word in every sentence she spoke?!), but let's see how you do.

9 more reads to go!

2010-07-19T00:54:00.003-04:00

ladies and gents (aka mom and dad - and alissa, too ;)

i am 9 reads away from 200!!!!!

for those of you who have a popular blog (insert michael morrison here) i know this doesn't seem like a BIG milestone.

however, for a girl who blogs from her bed every night it's pretty frickin' EXCITING!

so, to reward all of you for reading, and in hopes of luring another 9 readers before the end of this week, here is my suggestion for your music listening this week:

catl.

before you step away from here and off into the interweb that will introduce you to this lovely toronto band, please note that it is not the kind of music that i usually suggest via this blog. BUT it IS the kind of music that can keep you out (and actually awake and drinking beer) on a sunday night.

check them out.

and then agree with me that jamie is the cutest thing ever.

have a good monday.

eat something delicious for lunch and meet me here tomorrow night. same time (well, maybe a bit earlier. you see, i'm getting older by the minute and this 1am business is really for the birds!), same place.

here's to 200!

i heart days like today

2010-07-18T00:17:00.002-04:00

it's an "i'm not sure what to blog about" kind of night.

on that note, i'm just going to say that today made me happy for friends and summer and pools. it made me happy for days when time just seems to stand still for a bit and everything is amazing.

yes. today everything was amazing.

starting with wearing speedos to convenience stores.

jam packed with a filling of swimming, naked bbqing and calling off engagements in liquor stores.

wrapping up with the most fantastic rooftop patio stagette party and a pair of amazing earrings.

and, possibly even the greatest - NO SUNBURN!

yes, everything about today was awesome.

just wait until you see the photos/video!

so yes, i like days like today.

heck, sometimes i even love them.

i'm going on tour

2010-07-17T01:08:00.005-04:00

if i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times.

jason mraz is, hands down, the greatest musician of this decade. i'd even go as far as to say my lifetime. yes, he's beating out NKOTB (which my dear friend maria would be sad to hear and definitely NOT agree with!).

the reason we're (once again) talking about my dear ole jason is that he just announced his fall tour schedule. and guess what?! there are THREE canadian tour dates! that's right, THREE! and one in buffalo.

needless to say, i'll be going to them all (in the least stalkerish way possible).

maybe i should start working on my set list requests now. i mean three shows in a row should mean that we get some serious old school. or at least we get the opportunity to request some super old school -- like no doubling back. i've never heard that live. i would DIE if i got to.

i feel a twitter campaign coming on.

don't you?

start listening now so you're ready for the road trip!

who's in?

alfalfa!

2010-07-16T01:26:00.003-04:00

i love the sprouts.

it's difficult right now to think of anything insightful to tell you as my feet throb and beg for me to shut my eyes and go to bed.

i guess i have a work a few more red carpets so my feet don't forget what it feels like.

i will say, the best part about getting home (besides penny, of course) as knowing that 1) i was out of the soon to come rain storm -- which will be come and gone before you even read this; sorry for the delay! -- and 2) i could make something delicious to eat and quiet my "i was out too late" hunger pains with alfalfa sprouts.

i am encouraging all of you to get alfalfa on your next trip to the grocery story. then, and only then, will you understand why i'm infatuated. i mean healthy and crunchy and good with any kind of food (heck, i just ate some wrapped in cheddar cheese), alfalfa sprouts could, quite possibly, solve all eating problems.

on that note (quite possibly one of the most lame) i am leaving you so that my eyes stop burning.

and please, all of you, send someone out to get you sprouts.

totally worth it, i swear.

even at one.thirty.two.am.

MINCH!

2010-07-15T00:16:00.003-04:00

there is a bit of bathurst in my bed tonight.

and no, i don't mean me. or the pjs my sister got me for christmas (those are actually on my couch with kelly ...).

i mean my most favourite (besides will helment) bathurst boi, kevin murphy.

as you've all been told, i love home. i love the way it smells and the way it's so relaxing and how it's not a problem to start drinking before noon. i also love that my cousin walked into a corner store in a long pink robe.

and when i can't go home i love having a bit of it come to me. there is nothing like a MINCH to make me smile.

so to all the other MINCH celebrators (you know who you are) please get your butts over here. i'm dying for a sleep over a la ange's.

missy the cat

2010-07-13T23:40:00.008-04:00

there were a lot of things i liked about today. i'm thankful for days like this because they give me banked ideas for this blog ;)

as i was trying to figure out what to talk about tonight i figured that it would be best to keep with the thing that made me feel the best first, and save the rest for another night when all i can think to blog about is how much i love clean public washrooms and, seeing as we can't master that here in north america, that we should institute squatting toilets like they have in asia. yes, i'll save the other highs of today for a day like that!

so, enough with the waiting. here is the first thing that made me laugh so hard i could barely breathe today:

Story goes :

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...
Read from top to bottom….

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon WalkleyDate: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pmTo: David ThorneSubject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do.

honestly, is that not the best forward you've ever read?!?!?! thank you to my dearest aimee for forwarding around this, the best ever 3 p.m. funny.

i hope you enjoyed as much as i did.

if not, there is definitely something wrong with you!

(or maybe there's something wrong with me ....)

sweet dreams!

four words

2010-07-12T23:03:00.002-04:00

it's late so tonight i have four words for you:

liberty village farmers market.

go.

the honey oat bread i got this past weekend is AMAZING. definitely the best part about this week.

start a countdown now. it'll be worth the wait (and the sleeps!).

happy birthday mom!

2010-07-11T22:04:00.005-04:00

today is my mother's 50th birthday.

because of that tonight's post isn't going to be about something i want you to listen to or read about or attend.

i think this occasion allows for a step away from the usual. you know, a break in tradition.

it's crazy to think of my mom as getting older. i mean she doesn't look a day older than she did at my high school graduation twelve years ago! but i suppose, as i am getting older so so must she.

and on that note i am wishing her the most fantastic birthday.

i think i sometimes take for granted the amazing relationship i have with my mother. so many people in my life complain about how intrusive their mother is or how insane she makes them. others talk frequently about how their mothers don't know anything about what is going on in their lives or how they would never talk to their mother about certain things that go in their day to day lives.

you see, i find all of this strange.

my mother is, no question, one of my best friends and ex-boyfriends, rolled into one. she rubs my back when i feel like my world is falling apart and she picks me up from the airport (which is almost three hours away) when i HAVE to go home to ward off a mental break down. she plays with my hair after i've fallen off a horse and therefore think there is no way i'm ever getting out of bed again. she makes me westerns the first morning i'm home every time i visit.

and, no question, she always has the best fleecy sheets on the spare bed when i come home. yup, that's right. every.single.time.

my mother is a woman of strength. she lost her first husband when i was only two, meaning she was only 22. i don't think about that time in her life a lot, as i was so young and barely remember, but i can't imagine how hard it must have been for her. a mother of two children under the age of two and now a single parent. i sometimes wonder how things would have been different had we not had those nine years together to solidify our mother-daughter relationship.

so this year, as she turns fifty and my youngest sibling graduates from high school and moves out, i want to thank my mother for always knowing what i need. for letting me help put out the presents at christmas but for always, ALWAYS letting me fall asleep before she puts out my stocking (as she knows, even at 29, it's my favourite part). she has taught me that a girl can do things that no one ever thought she could on her own, and that being vulnerable is not a bad thing when done properly. she's been the greatest mom a girl could ask for, and for that reason (and SO many others) i'm super thankful to my grandmother for deciding to keep having children after her first three.

happy birthday margaret astle, aka the world's most awesome mom.

here's to our kareoke in the kitchen joint birthday party in less than two weeks!

you need you some fitzie

2010-07-10T23:34:00.004-04:00

damn.

reserve battery power.

again.

i think this is the most consistent theme of my blog. running on reserve battery power. but it's ok, don't feel sad that that is something i get to blog about. i mean there aren't many things that are more exciting than running on reserve battery power. trust me, i should know.

this will be quick and dirty anyway because i don't want you guys to be sitting here reading when really you should be purchasing the sparrow and the crow by william fitzsimmons. i just got back from his show at the drake underground and damn. talk about trying to steal me away for both jason AND cary. this dude's got balls.

and a big beard to boot.

i will be honest. his last two records have been about divorce.

that said, every song is beautifully sad. you know, the best kind.

however, let's all take a second to think about this. we all know someone who is going through some kind of heart break. sucky, i know. but really, it's the truth. so isn't it better to have some music that you can share with your breaking heart friends when they need it most?

yes, you know i'm right. and that's also why i'm so happy i can be here for you.

the man is anne vranic's future husband, but before she convinces him to marry yet again, and therefore he stops writing sad songs, please listen. just before sleep. there is nothing better than a song that states "hid my heart, lost you forever ....".

just go listen.

trust me.

i mean have i ever lied to you before?

(ok, maybe don't answer that ... )

but please go. you'll like him. i promise.

and if you don't, you will know someone who will.

so share the fitzie love.

it's SO worth it.

mr. glover

2010-07-10T01:57:00.003-04:00

tonight felt like i was back in high school again.

and it was actually amazing.

now, as i crawl into bed next to penny and sengara, it makes me realize that my life is amazing.

i mean how often do people get to spend the night with some of the most amazing people while swimming, partaking in beverages and washing your hair with amazing orange zest smelling shampoo.

to mr. glover, thank you for cooking our burgers. and for teaching us that getting older doesn't equate to getting less fun. you were the best.

to the rest of everyone else, i strong suggest an evening like this sometime during this summer. you know, a stop at a grocery store for a really quick dinner. a drive in traffic that's insane. only to get you to the most amazing house with the greatest pool and most perfectly landscaped back yard. that's what i wish for you.

on top of that i wish the most amazing drinking game and an even more amazing dad to play with you.

tonight was just what i needed. an escape from the every day.

sadly, it's going to hurt at yoga tomorrow.

yup, really hurt.

marry me, jacob

2010-07-08T23:54:00.002-04:00

so tonight i went to see eclipse with the girls from the dog park.

all i can say before i fall asleep happy was that it was SO much better than one and two. honestly. hands down the best to date.

i do think it's changed me over to the dark, furry side though. team jacob anyone?

i know, i know. you all love edward's passion. but honestly, jacob, albeit way too young for me to be blogging about RIGHT now (and openly, in public), is the whole package. hell, he can keep you warm all winter. and walk your dog without needing to freeze. and shovel your driveway. just think of how much better the canadian winters would be just by having jacob in your life.

you know you'll agree with me as soon as you start to think about it. winters here suck.

but never having to pay a heating bill would be amazing.

see, now you're starting to come over to the fuzzy side, too.

i mean he can't smell THAT bad, right?!

be like mike

2010-07-07T21:56:00.004-04:00

as many of you know i have this most amazing friend named michael taylor.

he slept in my bed with me for a month.

and then i had surgery and kicked him out. or more like my uterus and michelle sengara did.

either way, i think the world knows how much i love him. and not secretly. although there is a code word for this kind of love and i think it's BASF.

all that said, the kid is working diligently on a project that i think you should all support. it's a project whose end result will see leslie jordan (of will and grace fame) on dancing with the stars.

all you need to do to support the cause is like their facebook page and tell your friends to do the rest. it's THAT easy.

and honestly, who doesn't want to say that they played a role in getting the next hottest thing to hit the dance floor on dancing with the stars? that's right, NOT you. i knew it.

in case you were wondering, here is the exact happiness you'd be supporting with your fan status:

amazing, no?

so the saying is true. we all just wanna be like mike. or at least support his endeavours.

summer's a blur (especially in this heat!)

2010-07-07T00:05:00.005-04:00

ok, i have seconds. it's 12:07 and i have to be in the yoga studio in 7 hours.

but i know everyone LOVES free stuff. especially free stuff that is REALLY amazing (for example, some of the prizes are a skydiving adventure, whitewater rafting trip, spa vacations, a pair of VESPAS!, summer concert tickets) and really easy to get your hands on.

it will only take four easy steps to get you there:

1) go to facebook

2) search for motorola canada

3) become a fan of their page

4) wait patiently for your name to be picked for one of the fantastic prizes that i can't win (damn.it.)

please note: if any of you win i do expect a part of the winnings ;)

good luck!!!

turn off the lights, let's bbq!

2010-07-05T23:14:00.002-04:00

today, as i'm sure you've all heard, toronto went dark. ok, not dark as in pitch dark, but dark as in no power. apparently there was an explosion at kipling and bloor. like a full on one. imagine.

the fun part about living in liberty village is that we are on our own separate grid. apparently this is to make sure that we don't explode seeing as the neighbourhood was meant to be home to no more than 100 houses. sadly, that is not the case. i think there are 100 people who live in my row.

needless to say, even though everyone else had their power back by 5:45pm, the residents of the liberty village beige townhouses were without power until just after 8pm. so we went to the streets. block 50 had a block party. and it was, quite possibly, the greatest one i've been to.

you see, everyone took whatever was in their fridge and brought it out to one of two grills. we ate. all of us. together. even smooch (one of the neighbourhood dogs) got a plate full of cheese and a bite of cheesecake.

it was the best way to finish an otherwise mediocre monday. it made me happy. but probably not as happy as penny who got to eat all of the food that was dropped as people mingled and drank alcohol on what was probably one of the hottest nights of the summer.

it was amazing. liberty village is amazing.

i would say you should all move here but the truth of the matter is that i don't want to share it anymore. there are enough of us here already. ;)

but do come and visit anytime. we're a really nice group of amazing awesome people.

it's like we were all born on the east coast. :)

i need a recipe for this

2010-07-04T22:16:00.004-04:00

i love to cook.

you may not guess by the state of my kitchen right now, but i really, really do. i actually think it is what has been missing in my life the past few months as i can't remember the last time i made a seriously good meal in my kitchen.

not that that is something i should complain about as it means i've been either fed by other people (thank you alex, andrea, paul, dina and jim) or i've had amazing dinners out. but i do think that cooking presents a great way to relax at the end of the day and make you feel like you can accomplish something in an hour that makes a handful of people happy and satisfied.

you see, it isn't always so easy to do both of those things at once!!!

with all this cooking stuff in mind, i think you should all join me on sunday nights and start watching the food networks' new season of the next food network star. i love it. i honestly wish they would just air the whole season consecutively so i could watch giada and bobby talk about how to make food better for hours.

the show also makes me wish i could cook just a little bit better so i could compete myself. you see, i think i'd have the tv thing down.

talk while cooking?

that's easy.

making a dish that wolfgang puck would serve to his wife?

that's difficult.

maybe i should just quit my day job and head off to culinary school. i hear stratford's a great place to live in the winter. ;)

so, until i'm the person you're DYING to tune in to watch on the food network, go check out the show. it will make you want to create new food in your kitchen every night. it will make you love giada even more (if that is AT ALL possible) and you might even learn a thing or two that you didn't know before.

also, send me your favourite recipes. i'm getting tired of mine. and it's summer. everyone likes trying new things in the summer. especially things like cold salads and soups and pretty drinks. so especially send those.

here's to an amazing weekend and to hoping it translates into an easy, stress free week for you all.

lions and tigers and weddings, oh my!

2010-07-03T23:38:00.002-04:00

today i had the best day. planning a wedding shower.

and trying on wedding dresses.

it was the best day.

(ha, i think i already said that).

i know that my wedding is forever away. possibly never. but it is so nice to see friends planning a day that will be one of the best of their entire lives. and for my friends it makes me even more happy because i can watch one of my closest friends go through something so big.

i also love that i am learning so much about the whole wedding "situation". who knew you had to give presents to people who came to your shower? i sure didn't. oh lisa and andrea, the things that you teach me.

here's to amazing saturdays as they don't happen often.

cheers to that.

to VT or not, that is the question.

2010-07-03T00:49:00.003-04:00

once again i find myself at a loss of what to talk to all of you about tonight.

it makes me feel a bit better that you're probably all out enjoying a friday night on a patio somewhere. or, let's be honest, you're all in bed sleeping already. yes, you are my kind of people.

on that note, please don't hate me for not telling you about anything super amazing tonight for all i can think about is snoring like penny is snoring right now. not because i think snoring is awesome, but because you only do it when you're super tired and in the middle of an amazing amazing cycle of rem. or at least that's the case for me.

however, i do need your help with a decision. william fitzsimmons or cary brothers in concert?

i know, tough decision as i have told you nothing of fitzie although i love him just as much as i love cary. i was stuck on his record for at least two months. in.a.row. that's just when i was a being unfaithful to you.

problem is - they are both on the same night. in different cities.

thoughts?

welcome home, kmac!

2010-07-02T00:38:00.003-04:00

my eyes are burning and my freshly home from a yin yoga class is DYING to be sleeping right now.

but i didn't want to leave you alone. or break your hearts, so here i am.

today i only have one news worthy thing to report (as nothing could be bigger or better ...) -- kelly mcintyre is back in toronto. for serious. not forever, but at least for a while.

and this little yoga addict couldn't be happier.

more tomorrow on chad's most favourite place in toronto -- the stories he shared today will just take TOO much time to relay (aka i'll have tears running down my face from my eyes just begging to be closed) but are really necessary to discuss.

happy canada day to you all!

pull out those white jeans.

2010-07-01T00:18:00.004-04:00

just a quick note to wish my most favourite country (and i can say that as i've been to many) a very happy birthday.

not sure about all of you out there in the vast world of the inter-web, but i'm celebrating HUGE this weekend.

how, you ask?

i'm moving kelly mcintyre back in!

honestly, there is no better way to celebrate than bringing a lost canadian home!

here's to reunions and homecomings. and new neighbours.

and for all of them happening in celebration of our most amazing country.

i love it all.

happy canada day, friends.

no matter where you are today when it's played, please please sing the national anthem super loud. in harmony. sing it like you were a bys singer (i mean, we were frickin' awesome -- we had white jeans as a part of our uniform!!).

and, most importantly, paint your face completely. white on one side, red on the other.

if you can't find said paint, at least where red.

it's a day to party, no question.

so let's get to it!!!

yippeeeeeeeeeeee!

our secret rendez-vous

2010-06-30T00:33:00.004-04:00

the best part about today is, no question, hands down, this very minute.

you see, right now i'm curled up in bed with two of the world's cutest dogs -- penny right next to me and jorge at my feet. if only i had a picture of the two of them so you could oooOoOooo and ahhhhh with me. you would, this i promise you.

[please note that i am now writing a disclaimer stating that mabes mcdowall is also found in this category -- that of the world's cutest dogs. and emma patreau too, of course!]

now that that is clear, let me just say that i hope you are all curled up in bed with someone you love. cheesy, i know, but it really is the best way to end any day at all. a good one, a bad one, a one that was somewhere in the middle. it's the best thing to know that, no matter what, these few minutes will always be here at the end of the day, welcoming you.

and really, we should all enjoy them as they really don't last long. even now as i type my eyes are burning and BEGGING to be able to go to sleep (you see, it's late for these old retinas ;)

thank you all so very much for reading - those of you who come directly to the site and those of you who have been so faithful on facebook. i am very grateful (and somewhat amazed!!) that you enjoy my insane banter to stick around. it's so very nice to know you're all out there.

and for that, i wanted to leave you with one place that i think you should all visit this long weekend -- well, if you live in toronto OR want to come visit me.

this place is one of my top three places to go in toronto and usually it nets out in the number one spot. where might this be you ask? i'm sure many of you (well, the three of you who know me well enough to take a guess here ...) will say the distillery. what i will say to that is good guess. i do love it there, but not like i love this place.

a hidden gem (although it is wide open to the public), ashbridge's bay park is where you should visit. there is so much water and really big rocks that you can sit on and just look out at a vast (well, as vast as they get in ontario :) pool of dark blue water. it's calming. and amazing. and it's nice to remember that things can be slow in this place we all like to rush around in.

more importantly for those of you with dogs -- there is a pebble beach. and you know what that means. NO sand in your car, on your couch or in your bed. yes, it IS amazing.

so head down there. maybe avoid the beach volley ball court area as it's always crazy busy. but do walk through the trail area (it's all paved, so even awesome for a bike ride) and enjoy escaping for just a little while.

who knows, maybe i'll see you there.

here's hoping!!!

my challenge to you. (welcome to joe fresh)

2010-06-28T23:48:00.004-04:00

again with the "running on reserve battery power" message from my macbook. i feel as though she always likes to challenge me when i've been up late working and really just want to blog quickly before sleep.

yes, blog quickly. as you have a very limited window of opportunity before i completely shut down and ruin your life forever.

ha, ok, i don't think my mac is that deviant. i also know you all know how completely and utterly dramatic i am.

thanks for loving me anyway.

with limited time i wanted to say one thing tonight. and that one thing is that this weekend i am challenging you. i am challenging you to visit your local joe fresh store and NOT purchase something. because honestly, in the words of the one and only anne vranic, the place gets me. it totally gets me.

ask people who see me every day. it's all i wear.

affordable. stylish. AND it doesn't shrink in the dryer.

could life get ANY better?

ok yes, you're right. you could be in hawaii, on a beach in your recently purchased joe fresh bikini. so life could be better.

but for those of us stuck on land for at least 85% of the summer, there is nothing better than affordable, stylish clothes that can be put in the dryer.

good luck with this challenge, dear readers. however, let me tell you that when you fail (ha, aren't i nice to have SO much faith in you?!) you won't even feel the least bit guilty as your bank account will thank you for only spending $50 on 7 items. i swear, it will.

god speed. and please, for the love of god, comment and let me know how it goes.

i'm starting to feel like there are NONE of you out there.

the cheesecake made it through security

2010-06-27T22:14:00.003-04:00

lying in my bed in toronto makes me realize that there really is nothing like home. although it does also make me think about why my home has to currently be in a city where police cars are getting set on fire and not in a city where you can roast marshmallows in your backyard every night before bed.

i suppose my blogs would be a bit less intriguing if they were all written from bathurst, new brunswick. although possibly not as this past weekend was one of the most entertaining i've had in ages. some sun, a few sandbars, some middle school gossip and a round of kitchen kareoke after a family wide drinking game, honestly, us east coasters have a reputation for being the most fun for a reason!

i'm already looking forward to going back in a month. i can't imagine how the next trip will top this one, but seeing as it will be my mom's 50th birthday, i'm sure we'll find a way. add to that it'll be my 30th and i'm sure the party will be non-stop for days!

i am happy to be reunited with penny. although i think she'd be fine staying with the lunneys forever. i suppose i should be happy she loves her holiday vacation home -- at least that way i don't have to worry about her when i actually take a vacation.

this post does remind me that it's been ages since i last told you to try something new that i like. or love even. on that note, please check out this most amazing website: www.smittenkitchen.com.

for those of you who love to cook and bake, it's the best. honestly, possibly one of the cutest blogs i've come across in a while (thanks aimee!) i've decided that i'm going to make the root beer float cupcakes and let you all know how it goes. i'm just wondering how i will store them as they have a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the inside (you're right, i think that for sure implies freezer storage!).

until then i am going to snack away on the most amazing cheesecake i currently have in my fridge, imported all the way from fredericton, compliments of my favourite aunt. it sure is nice to still be spoiled a little, even when you're almost thirty! and it's not even your graduation weekend!

here's to a short week at work!

and thanks to everyone for reading - my blog views are growing by the day and it makes me smile each time i see it get bigger, even by one.

spread the word, super fans.

until tomorrow, sleep well.

or as well as you can when you're not at the cottage with the sound of the water hitting the beach putting you to sleep.

give me s'more ...

2010-06-27T00:02:00.000-04:00

today was amazing. completely and totally amazing as i did everything i wanted to.

and more.

best of all we brought the infamous east coast "kitchen party" to a whole new level with a portable kareoke machine.

all i know is that i want more of bathurst, not less. and i know that i'm definitely bot ready to go back to the land of police cars being set on fire.

give me a marshmallow to roast and fireworks in my backyard anytime over that. hell, i'd take my cranky sister over that.

nite all. prepare yourselves for the rounf up entry tomorrow night!

live from janeville

2010-06-25T22:37:00.001-04:00

being home reminds me of how easy it is to be reminded that life really isn't about what job you have or what kind of apartment you live in or what kind of clothes you wear to a graduation ceremony. being home reminds me that family is really the greatest thing in the world (well besides the new brie spreadable cheese from president's choice), even if yours is messed up and completely strange.

tonight i watched my little sister, the youngest of four, graduate from high school. she was cranky, you know the emotion eighteen year olds emote when they are nervous. it was great to see her accomplish something that was so long ago for me and excited to see what she will be doing ten, twenty and even fifty years from now. growing up is something we all have to do but it is really fun to see someone you love start off doing it on their own.

home has been amazing. and yes, i know, i did make a promise to not blog about the same thing more than once (there ARE exceptions, of course, like jason mraz and hot yoga) but home is not something i can experience and not blog about. from red carpet prom entries to junior high year end relationship drama (right, john?), this place just makes me happy. and not only because it smells good.

so with the waves crashing onto the beach as i type (for serious, i can hear them) and my sixth grade little cousin reading one of my old school summer cottage books that he's just called childish, i'm going to sleep.

you see, tomorrow is a big day.

yes, a big day of drinking slush with my most favourite cousin.in bikinis.

i can't wait.

dear bathurst, i frickin' love you.

i.heart.home.

2010-06-25T01:32:00.000-04:00

there is nothing like being home. it smells good here. and there is definitely something to be said about being able to find a old fashion sugar donut whenyou want one.

as always the drive home was loooooong and boring and loooooooooooong. but it felt so amazing to drive around that on ramp and find myself on miramichi avenue. no matter what jackie says, there is no place better to be in the summer except for here. especually with caramel sundays and nuts.

my apologies in advance for the no links - aka the very low tech - blog entry. my parents only computer lives smack dab in the middle of bedroom central and i wasn't about to wake my sister up at 2:30 in the morning the day before graduation!

all things considered the intense ear pain i felt while landing (my right ear is still completely non-functional -- thanks cold!)was totally worth it already - and i've only been home long enough to wash my face and brush my teeth!

good night world.
i am sending you mad love all the way from bathurst, new brunswick.
xo

law.and.order. and earthquakes. oh my!

2010-06-23T23:57:00.004-04:00

as i'm sure all of you it's G20 time in toronto. and today it got started off with an exciting little earthquake today. i call it exciting only because it was little, not to diminish the insane wreckage real ones can (and have) done.

i think this is the first time i've ever felt a baby earthquake. for those of you who haven't, it really feels like you're going crazy because you can't figure out what is going on. and when you do, then it's over. but even when it's over you still feel like things are shaking. really, earthquakes do put a bit of excitement into an otherwise mediocre day!

today i love law and order more than usual. maybe that's because the city i call home is filled with police officers roaming the street in groups of ten, or because i got my third disc of season nine from zip.ca -- but whatever it is, i frickin' love it. i can't believe that the original is being cancelled. it was really a sad day when that was announced.

to be honest, if i had to pick one person i'd want to meet it would be a tie between olivia benson and elliott stabler. my fingers are crossed that they are both as lovely in real life as they are in my head.

i remember once in university when my roommate called a boy she was crazy about. he said that he couldn't talk because he was watching law and order. at the time i couldn't believe that he would turn down a long distance call from a really hot chick. but now, now i get it. i never answer the phone when i'm bonding with the team.

i'm sorry that this isn't new news for many of you. my love of law and order that is. however, i will say that i'm pretty impressed at my calibre of writing considering the amount of recooperative drugs i have in my system today.

i'm going to new brunswick tomorrow to escape the madness. and to see my little sister graduate from high school.

i'm really excited. although it does make me feel a bit old.

who cares though. old or not i'll get to eat lobster. and sleep in. and drink slush with amber.

bring on the weekend.

i am SO ready.

i do promise better blogs from home. interesting things always happen there. and i love so much about the place. it will make me better, i'm sure.

aunt april, please start getting that ceasar salad ready!!! i'm coming home!!!!!